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Fast-pace lifestyle makes people pay more attention on making money than maintaining a healthy body


Baicheng 2 / 2  
Jun 4, 2013   #1
Nowadays, an increasing number of people concerned about whether government can play a vital role to improve public health by building more sports facilities. Some people think that government should be responsible for this. Others argue that improving public health cannot just rely on government. In my opinion, other measures can be taken to solve this problem.

Firstly, it is obvious fast-pace lifestyle makes people pay more attention on making money than maintaining a healthy body. People live in heavily competitive society more likely to eat fast food or sacrifice their sleep to save time for work and getting promotion, which cause a lot of health problems. If government can raise budget on social security, the pressure on people' living cost can be relieved. As a result, people can develop a positive attitude toward on their life.

Secondly, government guidance and intervening can make a difference. For example, government can raise awareness on public health by introducing some social programs. Biggest loser, a very popular show in Australian channel, influence a lot of people to lose their weight and built right attitude to health by doing exercise and quitting their bad dietary habit.

It is not to say that it is not useful to build more sport facilities to improve public health. The sports facilities near around community are convenient for people to exercise. But how can we make sure those people can totally participate in. some people maybe do not interested in it. Some people do not have enough time to do exercise, especially who work from 9am to 5pm. only the people who focus on their own healthy can make a difference.

In sum, improving public health should every individual and government participate in.

lilythuy2289 3 / 13 2  
Jun 6, 2013   #2
Nowadays, an increasing number of people concerned about whether government can play a vital role to improve public health by building more sports facilities.
Nowadays , an increasing number of people , many people concern about whether government can play a vital role : the meaning of this whole sentence is pretty ambiguos

*fast-pace lifestyle
>>the today's fast-paced lifestyle
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Jun 13, 2013   #3
Nowadays, an increasing number of people concerned about whether government can play a vital role to improve public health by building more sports facilities.

... there are lots of redundant words and phrases here. I also find this idea is a little off from your topic as your topic talks about the correlation between sports facilities and public health. Introduce your topic as it is to the reader!... remember, your opening sentence gives the first impression about your writing skills and hence deserves better attention :)

Health is an important aspect for one to lead a happy and contented life and engaging in sports is one of the best ways to ensure a good health.

Now come to the argument!


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