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Fastfood is good or bad for our lives?

AndreiWindy 3 / 7  
Mar 26, 2017   #1
Fastfood is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular.Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinion in this?

Traditional Cooking is Better

Nowadays, with the striking development of economy, people have changed their lifestyle so much when compare to the others in the past. One of these changes is fastfood which is more and more popular in every country. Although this is cheap and convenient for officers and people who do not have enough time to cook, it brings many problems with we cannot guess.

First of all, these days, in everywhere, we can easy to find fastfood stores such as KFC, Lotte fried chicken,.... It's the best way to eat the meal which is save time, cheap and also very delicious. However, using fastfood regularly is harmful for health because it contains a great deal of fat. Gradually, people will get some serious diseases include hypertension, increasing blood lipid, and even diabetes. These illnesses are very hard to therapy and also cost of large of money, so it damages to the happiness of among people and the economy of every country.

Secondly, whereas people is used to eat fastfood, they do not want to learn to cook anymore. As the result, the fewer people can cook, the fewer traditional foods we can keep. If no one thinks about it, traditional foods will be disappeared forever one day. Finally, in the oriental, family meal is very special. It's a good chance to meet all the member in family. If fastfood becomes more and more popular, our traditional meal will be changed forever. After that, we will continuously lose many things which we can not imagine.

By the way of conclusion, although fastfood is cheap and convenient, among people have to decide themselves what they will do to protect their tradition. For me, cooking traditional foods is the best way to do it.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 12,277 3982  
Mar 26, 2017   #2
Phong, you have a very solid opening statement. It gives the reader the idea that you are actually responding properly to the prompt requirement because you delivered an almost grammatically accurate representation of the original topic for discussion and the method by which you have to discuss it. As i rad your essay, I noticed that you used the name of a fast food restaurant that is exclusive to your area of the world. I suggest that you do not do that in your succeeding essays. As the examiner may or may not be familiar with certain things based upon your home country, it is always best for you to use more popular and international examples that most people might be familiar with. For example, aside from KFC, you could have used McDonald's, Wendy's, and Burger King, among others as examples of fast food restaurants. As for your conclusion, it could have been better written if you did not say "By way of conclusion" and instead said "In conclusion" instead. Also, a better wrap up of the essay is necessary since you are required to properly restate the discussion, reasons, and personal opinions yet again. Your conclusion did not accurately do that and also, came up very short in the minimum 3 sentence requirement for these essays.
Datnguyen 2 / 6 2  
Mar 26, 2017   #3
AndreiWindy, Your essay is quite good, you have presented a somewhat impressive essay. You have used simple vocabularies and linking words to make reader can easy understand what you want to convey. However, I think you should quote figures to prove your opinion and maybe attract attention from reader.

I believe that it can easily score a 5 with this essay!
mastindersingh 2 / 7 2  
Mar 26, 2017   #4
Hi, There are few mistakes in sentence formation and using of right verb .l have corrected few to show the difference.

What are your opinion on this?

Rewritten it
Nowadays, with the development of an economy, people have changed their lifestyle compared to the past. One of the changes is fast food consumption, which has become popular with every country. Although it is cheap and convenient for people that do not have enough time to cook, but continuous consumption of it increased the risk of many dreadful diseases.

First of all, these days, we can easy to find fast food stores everywhere, rephrase sentence

It's the best way to eat the meal which saves time [corrected verb]

However, eating fast food regularly has harmful for health because it contains a great deal of fat. [corrected]
OP AndreiWindy 3 / 7  
Mar 26, 2017   #5
Thank you so much for your support, your comment is very precious to me. I hope next essays you can help me to correct.

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