Topic: What is your favor food and why it is so special or meaningful to you?
Please help me with my gramma errors, paraghaps, development...Thanks a lot for you time
Response:
Whenever I eat spaghetti and meatballs, my favorite food, I always appreciate my father who encouraged me trying this delicious food and showed me how to cook this tasty dish. In addition to its wonderful taste and convenience, it is so special to me because every time we cook together, we experience a great time of laugh and joy.
I remember when I first came to the United States from Vietnam I could only taste Vietnamese food and barely tried the differences. One day I came home from school hungry because I didn't eat lunch. After discovering that I had skipped lunch because I couldn't eat spaghetti and meatballs, my father promised me that he would cook lunch for me the next day. Eventually, he told me to stay off the kitchen until he would have finished cooking. While I was waiting, my stomach rumbled because I could smell something delicious from the kitchen. As soon as he had finished, Dad called me come to the kitchen. To my surprise, there was a dish of spaghetti and meatballs on the table. I pounced and disappointed...
Kathy, your work looks like the relating story of your life. I suggest you to change your delivery of this topic, because it seems like not for a writing purpose. See for instance "he told me to stay off the kitchen", "I asked my father" and etc. Also avoid the word Dad, better use my father, but I think that it will be better if you change whole your topic delivery. Try to find out how to write this kind of topic more professional. I believe if you will look from the internet you can find how to write it better and how to deliver it. Change your ideas, even if you need to write that is not true. Try to make it more interesting for the adult reader, not for the children.
For example, in the beginning you can start as
There are many kind of food throughout the world. Every nations have their own way of cooking and ingredients which they use in cooking. For instance, asians use to cook with a pepper to make their food spicy, however most europeans cannot eat spicy food and they prefer to cook with more vegetables, which are very healthy. For me, as I live in a .... continet, I prefer, as well as the other people in my country, to eat .... (continue your own prefering on food whether with meat or flour for example)
In the body of your topic be more closer to your topic title, write about your favorite food and give reasons why you like it.
In conclusion part, you can write the main idea of your introduction and of the body and also do not forget to stress on your own choise of food.
The essay was good-but you could use some stuff to spice it up.
How about starting off the essay with some dialogue between you and your father about spaghetti?
Assel and Sofia, Thanks for your advice. I know that a good essay has to have a good lead-in that catches readers' attention. At the begining I wanted to use something like what you just suggested. However, it is not sound like me! I am still learning a good lead-in, not copying other's writing. But before going to that step, I want to make sure my essay doesn't have serious basic grammar errors. So I just try basic, simple English because it is how my writing now. I want to write more beautiful and professional, but it's not beyond my ability.
I didn't write well on the 2 para, but I did explain why I like spaghetti (convenience, easy to cook. It's so special for me because I can spend time with Dad). However, it's not enough what I want to say, I feel that I need to rewrite the para 2, but I don't know how.
OK, paragraph 2 would be the body of your topic, where you should be closer to the title and give reasons why do you like exactly that food (tasty, easy and fast in cooking and etc.). Also you can write other meals which you like and give to the reader some similarities of your choice.
Hope, I gave u some ideas what to write... Good luck!
This is my revision, I am still thinking how to insert it in the essay; however, I think this is how to cook, not mention much about the taste, smell, things like that....!
To make the dish, you need to have noodles, tomato sauce, some mushroom slices, and ready made meatballs. Those materials are basic requirement, but you can adjust the menu depending on how is your taste. For example, instead of using noodles, you can use pasta as well. Since pasta gives you more choices because it has many different in flavors and shapes such as wheat straight pasta, rice curly pasta, spinach sea-shell pasta, and so on. Tomato sauce can be made in can or jar, and it has variety of brand and taste such as crushed or chunky with or without garlic and onion. Sometimes you can see tomato sauce contains all main ingredients such as garlic, onion, and mushroom. You can find ready made meatballs with different kinds of meats like beef, fork, turkey, or combined meat. If you are more creative and a member of seafood-eater fan, you can substitute meatballs with scrimps or your favor, but the dish still gives you best taste as the original.
When you have everything ready, you may begin to start. First, you should fill water in a pan and heat it up. When you see the water is bubbling, put your noodles or pasta in and continue to steam. Before you drain the water out, peek a bite to be sure that your noodles are ready to eat. Next, you can put your tomato sauce in and stir it up. Since the tomato sauce already has tangy seasoning, you don't need to add on anything; but for me, I like sweet taste, then I may put on some sugar, so that now I have a dish of sweet, sour, and salty flavor. Finally, you can put on your ready made meatballs and mushroom at the same time. You should stir your combination again and wait about 5 minutes for your mushroom absorb to the sauce and then you can enjoy your meal.
Hi Kathy, I think this will help you.
Form what you want your thesis statement (central points) to be in the essay and explain why. You can also start your essay with some statistical information about food or ask a provocative question.
Kathy, you should add a clever sentence to the beginning to catch the reader's attention!
Also, you have a typo (fork): like beef, fork, turkey, or combined meat. If you are more creative and a member of fan of seafood, you can substitute meatballs with scrimps or your favor shrimp for the meatballs, but the dish still gives you a taste as excellent as that of the original.
:-)
I think if you write about some regional cusine ..I mean if you start by writing about the main group and then progressing to the main dish...it will provide you with more structure . for example , if can start by writing about Italian or indian or Seafood and then describing about the particular dish you like in that group.
Hope I am able to convey what I was trying to explain here!!!
Thank you for all the help. I will work on my essay again, but I am not really emphasized on the food itself. I want to mention why that dish really means for me. Of course, some of you like some kinds of food because they taste special and wonderful depending on how is your taste. But here, I also want to mention that my father was making a dish so special.
