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dxtnnam 2 / 5  
Nov 18, 2019   #1

Rhythm and blues

Personally , R&B , stands for Rhythm and blues , is the type of music that I adore the most . In my old days , I used to be obsessed with pop and hiphop . Back in that time , every day around my house is the effervescent electronic beat and catchy chorus .Day over day , somehow I find it quite plain , I was looking for somekind of music different , something purer , something more sophisticated . The first R&B song I heard was " I will always love you " and I fall in love with R&B at no time .

First and foremost , the music satisfy my personal taste. To me , R&B is just like a beautiful rainbow diamond . The music has a diversity in materials , the beat but overall extremely fascinating .Sometimes it's soft , sometimes it's full of energy and enthusiasm.

Secondly, there a huge disparity between R&B music and most of nowadays pop hiphop music . While music nowadays is lack of layers of meanings , R&B is completely opposite.The theme of the R&B not only focus on love but also a myriad of other humanistic theme , such as :patriotism , war and peace , life inspiration ,... By listening to this kind of music , I appreciate what I have more than ever .

R&B is just like my emancipator from negative emotions , stress and the hectic lifestyle.Life is full of ups and down . Every time I got lost and feel alone , hearing a excerpt of " Hero " by Mariah Carey , I am motivated to make a step forward. .Rather than , R&B also has some good impact on my studying too .It's not too strong which 's just enough to help me stay alert while doing homework . It somehow drive me to sleep as well .

In conclusion , R&B has become my favorite kind of music , which not only beneficial to my physical health but mental health as well
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Nov 19, 2019   #2
Hi! I see that you've been consistently a part of the forum. I hope that this feedback of mine gives you insight on how to improve your writing. If it does, don't hesitate to approach us and ask for more! Good luck in your writing endeavors.

Like what I mentioned previously to you, small details are essential when writing. You can enhance your writing tremendously simply by following conventional rules in writing to make your essay a lot more put-together and standardized. When looking at the first parts of writing, it was clear that you were unable to use the very basics of writing when you were elaborating. Try to always stick with content that is more specific.

Improving the overall tone of language you are using in writing is also critical. For instance, the first part of the essay needed to be hammered down in totality to ensure that your work isn't mistaken as informal. Try to always stick with a logical flow.

As mentioned before, the conclusion also cannot be shortened and made into a small chunk. Conclusions are critical when establishing the final thoughts of your essay, therefore try your best to standardize your writing a lot more.
OP dxtnnam 2 / 5  
Nov 20, 2019   #3
Thank you so muchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sleepyshamrocks 4 / 6 4  
Nov 23, 2019   #4
Hi, I suggest you check your grammar and punctuation, as it would greatly improve the AO's perception of your writing. Maybe try connecting your second-to-last paragraph with your conclusion to make it stronger.

Great work!

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