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Toefl essay feedback: (Agree/Disagree) Employers should employ long-life worker.


huonglt11 1 / -  
Sep 16, 2012   #1
Hi everybody,
Here is my Toefl essay and I need your help to review and give comment for me in order to improve my writing. Thank you very much for reading it.

(Agree/Disagree) Employers should employ long-life worker.

There has appeared endless controversy over human resource. People believe that it is essential for employers to hire long-term employees. From my own viewpoint, I completely approve of this belief.

First and foremost, what I put in my priority is work efficiency. It cannot be denied that the major human force which contributes the development of company is long-life employees. They have devoted in a long time so these workers are certain to become experts. Not only owning great knowledge and skill required by the job but also they are well-cooperated with their colleagues. The quality of work done by them is always guaranteed. More remarkably, company probably prevents losing data by having long-life employees. Business is a tough and competitive environment. Long-term workers never tend to reveal critical information to their company's competitors. They understand that will lead to serious damage for their company and making them to lose their jobs. Beyond any doubt, employing long-life workers brings the good efficiency to employers.

In the second place, financial loss is of no less importance. The fact is that hiring permanent workers is economical solution for employers. A company stands a golden chance to focus on their business and do not need to spend time and a lot of money for recruitment. The labor market nowadays is very competitive. Experienced and skillful employees are so valuable that many corporations use headhunter and attractive salary to get them for their company. More notably, employers are bound to save a lot of money for training workers. Each work has its own requirement which coerces people to spend time to learn and adapt to working environment. With experienced employers, it is not necessary for the company to use its budget for educating and training fresher. With that money, hirers are likely to develop the long-term employers to be much more excellent in order to make more profit for their company. Indeed, financial loss is hampered by hiring long-life employees.

Last but not least, stable development ranks an equal place of the essence. Needless to say, a firm including long-life employees who understand other colleague's strengths and weaknesses profoundly is a strong firm. They are likely to support each other to complete work any time they have an issue. Employers are certain to estimate efforts and plan for further business easily based on their knowledge of workers' capacity. Not only quality of work but also time and progress of producing are assured by long-term employees. More interestingly, workers with constant commitment to company tends to reduce bad effects of economic crisis on company when it is happened. In that predicament, a company needs experienced employees to overcome. Long-term workers know how to manage in hard condition of their company. By and large, a corporation stands a golden chance to grow steadily with a group of long-term workers.

All in all, not only work quality, financial saving but also perpetual development are the convincing reasons for my approval. I highly recommend that hirers should take my writing into great consideration to make an appropriate decision on employing.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Sep 18, 2012   #2
There has appeared endless controversy over human resource.
One controversial issue for human resources is whether or not to hire long-term employees.

First and foremost, what I put in my priority is work efficiency.
I believe that the most important quality of a worker is efficiency.

It cannot be denied that the major human force which contributes to the development of a company is long-life employees. They have been devoted infor a long time, so these workers are certain to become experts. Not only owningThey havethe great knowledge and skill required by the job, but also they alsoare well-cooperate well with their colleagues.

They understand that it will lead to serious damage for their company, and makingcause them to lose their jobs. Beyond any doubt, employing long-life workers brings the goodbest efficiency to employers.


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