Some feel international tourism is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions?

evaluation of overseas travelling trend

With the rapid growth of technologies and global market development, worldwide travelling has not been so accessible than before. Despite it is profoundly beneficial for those desire to explore the world, it is also a controversial argument that drawbacks can be seen as a result of unnecessarily frequent travel. Personally I believe negative impacts brought up by international journey outweigh its benefits.

First of all, due to the dramatic drop of travelling cost on airfare and accommodation, overseas visits are more feasible nowadays which effectively accelerate worldwide economic growth. However, excessive travels may also result in unhealthy development of certain markets. We can observe all over the globe that popular cities over relay on tourists related businesses and undermine the market diversity. One obvious example is the streets of Hong Kong overloaded with pharmacies and souvenir shops. The overall market environment becomes increasingly difficult for other businesses. At the end the city will suffer from the monotonous development and lose the attraction.

Further and even more importantly, one of the largest fossil fuel consumptions in the world is airlines business. It is believed that uncontrolled global trips should take a critical responsibility in our environmental pollution. Imagine how luxury it is for a weekend trip decades ago, yet it is now affordable almost for everyone with low cost flights and AirBnB. With the extra help of internet, travel lovers can even lockdown their journey solely at their fingertips. This is the reason why scientists attribute this overwhelming travel trend to the irreversible damage to our planet.

In conclusion, overseas travelling is an irresistible trend for the majority which also helps in globalization. On the other hand, yet, I agree the trend also leads to more serious damages on our cultural and natural environments. It is important for all humility to get an optimal balance between economic development and environmental responsibilities.

Since this is a Task 2 essay, you should be writing no more than 250-290 words. The time allotment is only 40 minutes within which you need to draft, review, correct grammar errors, and polish your essay. You focused on the word count, hoping this would increase your overall score. The opposite is what happened, you created several errors throughout the essay that will definitely have an impact on your final score. Even without knowing the actual prompt requirement, I can already see that there are several grammar errors in your presentation that will definitely impact your final score. Let's get started on those errors.

Comma Usage:
At the end the - At the end , the

Informal phrase usage:
reason why - reason

Conciseness (Clarity Issues):
drawbacks can be seen as - drawbacks can be
affordable almost for - affordable for
an optimal balance - the best balance
We can observe all over - We can see all over

I would have been able to do a content review for you if you had provided a copy of the original prompt. I need to know the original discussion topic and instructions to do that. So for now, I cannot review your paraphrase section, nor can I review the concluding statement for accuracy since I do not have any idea what the original discussion was about.