Unanswered [0] | Urgent [0]

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Females status actually transformed in various aspect of human being for 5 past decades.

sholihin84 6 / 9  
Feb 8, 2016   #1
The position of woman has changed a great deal in many societies over the past 50 years. But these societies can not claim to have achieved gender quality.

To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Females status actually transformed in various aspect of human being for 5 past decades. Overall, two notions had been a debatable issue inviting the attention of academician in different field of science. First, a group views positively that today women accepted an equal confenssion in social structure as a main part of society. Second, a school believes that feminine was still positioned as a marginal group of people because of their genders. I come to both terms with its all of feature arguments.

Nowadays, named as the women renaisancce era. It was based on Theorde Adorno's view in which women tends to have equal right. They were imposed as same as males in all of life aspect such as in politics, economics, and such. As a main solution,people must have law consciousness. The reverse of the notion, for some sociologists, the factor why females tend to be a secondary class in the society is that they routinely are exploited as hard-worker like man in industrial. The analyst named it as capital attraction. In fact, it is intentionally proved as empirical fact because some capitalistic reasons such reducing of rent rate and such. To maintain and anticipated the exploitation, government must be brave to regulate based on the law of women protection. As an ultimate goal, females will get their right despite they are a hard-labour such as laisure time, pregnance holiday and others.

To sum up, there are two opinions explorated the gender issues. A group think positively that women became an equal social class like males. Others, a network introduces critical view. They analyze the complicated-problem of women status based on the marxism tradition in which they investigates that it is because of capitalism tradition tending to exploit women as hard-workers. These is possible to formulate a set of main solutions. For example, the authority roles through regulation to strict to employ woman as labour in industries; public awareness on females right without discrimination.

vangiespen - / 4,137 1449  
Feb 8, 2016   #2
You are not being asked to discuss the two arguments. You are being asked to take a side and defend it. Either you believe that women's roles have changed over the past 50 years or you don't. that is the only stand you have to present and discuss in the essay. By the way, it is not a school science that is debating the issue but a school of Social Science, which is a total different and unrelated branch of Science as you depict in your essay. Use the correct term which is "Social Sciences". Social Sciences are a branch of science that study the human evolution as a society. That is what this topic falls under. It is not a scientific study of complex scientific fields such as Physics, Biology, and Chemistry.

Your whole discussion of the essay would have been more proper , regardless of the grammar flaws it current contains, if you had properly depicted your opinion in the opening statement. Do you agree or disagree? It seems from the way that you wrote, that you agree with the opinion presented. You should have said so as a part of the thesis statement at the beginning of the essay. The disappearance of your opinion discussion in the essay made this get a failing grade.

The score for the essay is primarily based upon how you understand the prompt and how you represent it in your opening statement. That is the part of the essay that immediately tells the examiner everything he needs to know about your ability to use the English language. Your comprehension skills, ability to create a logical thought process through the prompt restatement, and the formation of your opinion, as well as how you present these in paragraph form, can either have you considered for the highest possible grade, or get you the lowest marks possible.

Home / Writing Feedback / Females status actually transformed in various aspect of human being for 5 past decades.