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The figure for imprisonment in five different developed countries in a fifty-year period, from 1930


nda18 46 / 81 9  
Nov 12, 2016   #1
A breakdown of the information about the figure for imprisonment in five different developed countries in a fifty-year period, started in 1930 measured in thousands is shown in the bar chart. Overall, despite the fluctuate alternations, United States of America and Canada arrested more criminals between 1930 and 1980. While the others number of imprisonment remained below.

Initially, the number of Canadian imprisonment broke the record as the highest one. It was followed by USA and New Zealand at the same value, around 100,000. However, in a five-decade period USA took over Canada's record and around 140,000 criminals had been arrested and sentenced. Meanwhile the others was below a hundred thousand.

In addition, despite the fluctuate alternation in most countries, a gradual increase in the number of imprisonment was seen in Great Britain decade by decade. In the end of timeframe, only Australia which had the lowest number punished no more than 60,000 offenders.



andika08 81 / 80 16  
Nov 13, 2016   #2
Hello
You have a good summary
I have some corrections for you

... five different developed countries inover/ during a fifty-year period, which/ that was started in 1930 and measured in ...

Here my suggestion:
A breakdown of the information about the figure for imprisonment in five different developed countries in a fifty-year period that is shown in the bar chart. It was started in 1930 measured in thousands.

... While the others number of imprisonment remained below.
Madina was right. If you want to use comparison, you should give 'than the other' statement in the same sentence to emphasize it

... around 100,000. (...) and around 140,000 criminals ...
Give me correction if I am wrong. You have mentioned 'the unit' in your introduction. So I think it will be fine, if you just mention 100 or 140

In the end of timeframetime frame , only Australia (...) number punished that no more than 60,000 offenders.

Thanks


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