FINANCIAL AID VS PRACTICAL AID AND SERVICE

financial funding or donating practical products?

Developing countries require international organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

The matter in which should international organizations provide help to less advantaged areas has aroused discussion. Although financial funding can solve temporary problems, I believe donating practical products and advice can bring more benefits in the long run.

Supporters of financial aid believe that it is helpful to solve the major problems in developing countries. Compared to donating countries, local councils have a deeper insight into the local economy and a better understanding of their current situation. If they are given financial support, they can develop a budget plan that allows them to tackle the most urgent issues.

Those who are approval of other forms of aid and advice believe this can reduce corruption and average people in developing countries can benefit from these supports directly. While financial funding may be corrupted by greedy figures in the governments, donations, such as drugs and medical service, are more likely to be delivered to those who are in urgent need of them, since authorities have access to better products and service and they will have little interest in these donations.

I would argue that providing practical aid and service can motivate these deprived countries to develop independently. Some countries have generated reliance on financial aid from other countries and they take it for granted and lack of motivation to drive economic growth through their efforts. The economy in these countries is so weak that they will soon collapse once there is no financial aid. However, if they were given valuable advice and support on developing their technology and agriculture, it is helpful to reduce their dependence on financial help and break the poverty-related malicious cycle.

Hi, I think there are some mistakes in your essay.
As for GRA, I see that you attempted to write a lot of complex sentences, however, some of them are not precisely connected. To write a correct complex sentence, you just need two or three clauses. By doing so, it will help you not only avoid grammar mistakes but also meaning mistakes.

Another problem lies on your conclusion paragraph. When writing a conclusion, you need to have the phrase "In conclusion" at the beginning of the sentence. Moreover, the conclusion statement is a paragraph where you summary your whole essay. However, it seems to me that your fourth paragraph is another body paragraph rather than a conclusion as it is too long. This will make you lose score in TA.

Thank you for your advice. I will avoid using long and complex sentences and pay attention to the conclusion paragraph.

Liz