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'Finding Confidence ' - my essay for COLLEGE


Alianicole123 1 / -  
Nov 23, 2012   #1
I need to know if its god enough and or how I can improve it.

Finding Confidence

Being a normal teenage girl in high school, you would expect your life to be somewhat like in the "high school based" movies. Being chased by boys, going to all the parties and having all the cool friends, but being an overweight teenage girl in high school your high school days aren't much like the movies. The amount of self-esteem you have is tested every day when you see girls thinner than you. You start to wish you can wear what she wears, or even just wish you had her body so you can dress it better. For me, I've had to build up confidence and strength from a young age. I never wanted to be the "Loser fat girl, with no sense of style" like most overweight girls were portrayed as. Of course I would get teased as a child and I've had nights when I cried myself to sleep but now I have learned how to love myself for who I am but it wasn't easy getting to this state of mind.

I used to always wonder why I didn't look "normal". I had no self-confidence what so ever. I wanted to be someone else, in a new body, so I can be "normal". Looking through all different types of magazines and not seeing anyone who looked like you, not even a little bit, definitely put me down. Around my freshman year of high school I wanted to change. I was tired of hating the way I looked and not loving myself for who I am. I've seen many plus-size females my age all over YouTube making videos about what they wore for that day and explain how much it cost, where they got it from, etc. I wanted to be more like them, confident.

So what I did was I began to look online for ways to be more confident and how to love yourself more. I found many videos on YouTube of girls who would explain their stories. All of their stories were very similar to mines, they were bullied at a young age and didn't love themselves until they had built up the confidence they needed. Each lady on the videos I watched explained many ways of how to be confident and talked about how it takes time to build confidence in yourself. Some advice that was given by one young woman named Grace, really stuck with me. She said in her video "One way to gain your confidence is make sure that every day you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you're beautiful, because you really are. Many people know that you're beautiful but you have to let yourself know first". From these words, I started to gain my confidence. Every day, I make sure I tell myself I'm beautiful. I'm still in the process of loving myself completely but I do love myself I'm more confident when it comes to everyday life. I wear things that I want to wear, I don't feel as if people are talking bad about me just because I'm bigger and I don't put myself down. I feel like going through this changed has help me become a better person; I want to do more adventurous things now that I felt I "couldn't" do before. I want to go to the beach and have good summer fun, and not care what other people say about me. I know gaining this new found confidence will help me in the future, to help me take more risk and be happier about life.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Nov 23, 2012   #2
Be sure to stay in "person", meaning that: if you intend to write it as if you are telling a story, don't use "you" when you mean to say "I". Also, I edited the beginning sentences to help you lead into your personal story. I just adjusted the "you" parts, because I think you need to consider that admissions officials are reading it and they may or may not relate.

BeingA normal teenage girl in high school you would probably expect yourher life to be somewhat like in the "high school based" movies.

BeingNormal girls get chased by boys, go to all of the parties and have all of the cool friends.But, being an overweight teenage girl in high school your highmakes school days aren't much likeunlike the movies.

The amount of self-esteem you have is tested every day when you see girls thinner than you. You start to wish you can wear what she wears, or even just wish you had her body so you can dress it better.


Maybe say it like this: "For a heavy girl, seeing thinner girls every day can be hurtful to her self esteem. She may wish to wear the skinny clothes and have the body to make those clothes look the best."

((Now, after this into part, carry on into your own story))


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