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my first motorcycle ride


kskwings 1 / 2  
May 17, 2012   #1
"how am i supposed to stay on?" was my first question when i couldn't reach my legs to balance the bike."all you have to do is initially try to balance and start and then you can fly like a bird" said dad and uncle putting their encouraging words.mom was perplexed worrying that the bike might fall and i might hurt my leg,i gave her the confidence that i wont fall but i could see cars and other vehicles in my road.me,dad and uncle headed to a nearby ground but it was filled with guys playing cricket,all three of us dint want those eyes on me.so we headed ahead and saw a calm gravel road ahead."this is it!" i exclaimed with excitement thinking of my very first ride on the geared guy.initially uncle showed how he rides and he handed me the keys, keys in,kick start without holding clutch and break,green light on the indicator display showing that the gears aren't engaged,hold the clutch,engage the gear,release the clutch and acceleration together slowly...and wroooooooooooooooooooommmmmm!! i was seated on the bike over the gravel street and RIDING all by myself,could see pride on dads' face,happiness on uncles' face.

worried about the bike,leg mom was in a state of restlessness when she opened the door,to show her my first initial step i rode it,this time on my road filled with cars and other vehicles!!

i want some one to help me out with the grammatical mistakes and other mistakes in the essay

armcast 1 / 1  
May 17, 2012   #2
"me,dad and uncle headed to a nearby ground but it was filled with guys playing cricket,all three of us dint want those eyes on me.so we headed ahead and saw a calm gravel road ahead."

That can be fixed grammatically by doing this:

My dad, uncle and I headed to a nearby ground, but it was filled with guys playing cricket. Neither of us wanted their eyes on me, so we moved on and saw a calm gravel road ahead.

Also, I wasn't sure what you meant by "ground."
OP kskwings 1 / 2  
May 18, 2012   #3
ground= play ground
thank you:-)
"how am i supposed to stay on?" was my first question when i noticed that i couldn't reach my legs to balance the bike."All you have to do is try to balance initially and then you can fly like a bird" came out dad and uncles' encouraging words.Mom was perplexed thinking that the bike might fall and i hurt myself.i told her not to worry and made sure she gained confidence. but i could see cars and other vehicles on my road . my dad, uncle and i headed to a nearby ground, but it was filled with guys playing cricket ,neither of us wanted their eyes on me, so we moved on and saw a calm gravel road ahead."this is it!" i exclaimed ,thinking of my very first ride on the bike.uncle showed me how to ride and handed me the keys!! keys in,kick started without holding the clutch and thebreak,green light showing that the gears aren't engaged,held the clutch,engaged the gear,released the clutch and accelerated together slowly..wroooooooooooooooooooommmmmm!! i was seated on the bike and i was RIDING!i could see pride on dads' face,happiness on uncles' face
schickdamih - / 4  
May 18, 2012   #4
worried about the bike,leg mom was in a state of restlessness when she opened the door,to show her my first initial step i rode it,this time on my road filled with cars and other vehicles!!

This is can be easily read when put this way:

Worried about the bike leg, mom was in a state of restlessness. When she opened the door, to show her my initial step, I rode it and this time on my road filled with cars and other vehicles.

I removed the word first because it is synonymous with initial.


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