During the first years after graduation students are usually full of health and energy

Question

The College years are the best time in a person's life.
Agree or Disagree. Give reasons to support your opinion.

Essay

Although many people believe that the college years are the best time in a person's life, my opinion is different. I suppose that the first years after a graduation from a university, when a person starts working and becomes independent, are really the best time in a life. And I have several reasons in support of my thinking.

In the first place, the feeling of being independent is wonderful! After 20 years under a parental control, a person can finally start taking decisions and acting according to his or her own desires. Such a person can decide where to go for a holiday, which films to watch and how to dress. Frankly, this freedom has a great value for me.

My second reason is that this time is perfect for falling in love and getting married. By the age of 25 people usually become mentally and emotionally mature, which allows them to build families and have children. And, personally, the values of having a family and children have always bean extremely important for me.

Possibly the best reason for my opinion is that during the first years after their graduation from universities people are usually full of health and energy, which allows them to set ambitious goals and achieve them. One scientific magazine has recently published results of a research, in which people of all ages were asked to answer several questions. The results reveal that people usually make their most impressive accomplishments by the age of 28. This data supports, that the time after a graduation is extremely exciting.

In sum, I hope that this short essay has managed to convince you that the first years after a graduation are the best time in a person's life.

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How many points does this essay deserve?
Thank you for your feedback!

cheer,

This is an opinion based writing. So you have done good job with three points, two from personal experience, and one from external source. It is better to cite the exact source than merely hint at it by saying "One Scientific Magazine".

Your essay is great. "bean" should be "been". I know that was a typo.

"The results reveal that people usually make their most impressive accomplishments by the age of 28". Depends on how we interpret. "by the age of 28" does not mean at age 28. Remember, if you talk about accomplishment Google, Microsoft, Facebook all started during college years.

It's a good essay. I would say 4 points. Best of luck.

Hello Cheer,
I think your essay is clear and quite persuasive. And I love it. =)
But I have a question about that, you said " the first years after a graduation are the best time in a person's life. "

Then, why you use the age of 25 and 28 to support your views???
(( I am not that good at English, so I am confused.

Well.... You do write impressively and no doubts about that. However, I think you better change the structure for your introduction. This is what I suggest;

Hook - Write a sentence that can grab reader's attention and also has a direct relevance to your prompt. In this essay, I do not find a hook

Background of the Issue - Discuss the issue
State your opinion - Conclude your introduction with stating your opinion.