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IELTS; Fish and Meat consumption in European country between 1979 and 2004


thuylinh 2 / 3  
Mar 18, 2014   #1
The graph illustrates the different needs for fish and some kinds of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.
Generally, the number of units sees a fluctuation with the demand for 3 kinds of meat always higher than that for fish.
To specify, for the first 2 years, after a significant decrease, the consumption of beef witnessed a non-stop rise from 160gr/person/week to a peak of 235gr/person/week before hitting a low of about 100gr/person/week. By comparison, starting with a slight increase, the need for chicken saw a steady climb from about 150gr/person/week up to above 250gr/person/week. Different from the need for beef and chicken, that for lamb felled continuously from 150gr/person/week to only 55gr/person/week. While the consumption of three kinds of meat underwent a continuous fluctuation, that of fish still remained more or less unchanged at quite low number (about 50gr/person/week). Interestingly, a similar downward pattern was recognized in the need for fish, lamb and beef while chicken always increased by about 100gr/person/week.

On the whole, people in this country tend to dramatically reduce the consumption of beef and lamb while increase that of chicken and stabilize that of fish.




Abdurasul 32 / 86 4  
Mar 18, 2014   #2
On the whole, people in this country tend to dramatically reduce the consumption of beef and lamb while increase that of chicken and stabilize that of fish.

It seems to be ok! But I think you have problems with word order and it is better to write : On the whole, people in this country tend to reduce dramatically the consumption of beef and lamb, whereas increase that of chicken and stabilize that of fish.
dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 19, 2014   #3
First, I want to ask you to have a more meaningful title in the subject field when you open a new thread (this is attended by us). It is not only a forum rule, but also helps you earn more meaningful feedbacks too :)

Overall, I see you follow a very good approach for this task. Also, you display very good writing skills. I think you are ready to take up the task now :)

Good luck!
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Mar 31, 2014   #4
How if you break this into two paragraphs? Yes, I think so. To have clarity, one paragraph contains one main idea.

than that for fish.

than that of fish.

to dramatically reduce the consumption of beef

to reduce the consumption of beef dramatically

I like the way you present this visual writing :D
Pahan 1 / 1,906 553  
Mar 31, 2014   #5
The graph illustrates the different needs for fish and somekindsthree types of meat in a European country between 1979 and 2004.

Generally, the number of units sees a fluctuation with the demand for 3 kinds of meat always higher than that for fish.

... Well, this is the trend which is most prominent for me;
Overall, except for chicken, all other types, fish, lamb and beef, have shown a decline in consumption during the period under review.

Try to give the most prominent trend or observation in the Overview.


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