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A fish pie consist of several materials such as peas, fish, sauce and potato


yonathan66 30 / 27 5  
Apr 1, 2016   #1
The diagrams give information about the manufacture of frozen fish pies

The information of frozen fish pies production is given in the diagrams. A fish pie consist of several materials such as peas, fish, sauce and potato which are wrapped by microwaveable container. At the first glance, it can be see that the production of this is divided to two different parts which will join just before the end of the process.

To begin, potatoes are sent up to one month after it is fine. After that, it will be cleaned before pealed. Waste of peel process will be placed in waste disposal. Potatoes which have been peeled will be sliced and boiled. After it is cooked, the potatoes are chilled. Moreover, the frozen potatoes will be stored before it join with the other process.

On the other hand, less than 12 hour after fresh salmon are delivered, it will be treated with lemon juice and salt. After that, it is cooked by steam oven. Moreover, salmon's skin and bones are removed and placed in waste disposal. Then, the inspector will look it carefully before it is combined with prepared peas and sauce. After that, potatoes will be added to this combination and it will be wrapped before it freeze and ready to be stored or dispatched.




angga93 42 / 74 20  
Apr 1, 2016   #2
To begin, potatoes are sent up to one month after it is fine. | sorry to say, but i don't get the idea of this sentence

Waste of peeling process

Potatoes which have been peeled | suggestion: peeled potatoes

before it joinis combined with the other processingredients .
Hadiyati Fudla 9 / 14 3  
Apr 1, 2016   #3
Hi Yonathan! Let me try to give some suggestion regarding your writing.

1. The information of frozen fish pies production is given in the diagrams . (I think there is only provided one diagram, so use the singular form: 'diagram')

2. A fish pie consist of(use singular verb -> 'consists of') several materials such as peas...

3. At the first glance, it can be see (passive voice: to be + V3 -> 'can be seen') that the production of this is divided ...

My alternative one:

An illustration of fish pie production is revealed in the diagram. A fish pie consists of several materials namely peas, fish, sauce and potato which are wrapped by microwaveable container. Generally, this production is devided into two main arts which will be mixed just before the end of the process.


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