Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 2

Five different sources that can produce electricity in New Zealand and Germany


septiadara29 48 / 67 9  
Nov 20, 2016   #1
The pie charts below show electricity generation by source in New Zealand and Germany in 1980 and 2010.

A breakdown of the information about five different sources that can produce electricity in New Zealand and Germany is depicted in pie charts. It is measured in unit, in 1980 and 2010. Overall, the most obvious facts are that Coal was the most popular source in New Zealand while Nuclear, Natural Gas, and Coal were three main sources in Germany.

Initially, New Zealand did not use Nuclear as in Germany, and except Natural Gas and Petroleum, other sources had an upward trend. Coal number started at 36 and grew roughly threefold in 2010. In contrast with the figure for Natural Gas bottomed at 2 from a third. The quantity of Hydro rose slightly by 16 to 46 while petroleum saw opposite pattern at 2 in 2010.

Meanwhile, in Germany, 2010 witnessed a mark jump in Nuclear number that reached a peak at 150. Coal number remained unchanged at 28, and the figure for Natural Gas appeared to fall dramatically as in New Zealand at 2. There was a slight increase in Petroleum quantity at 5 while Hydro experienced to decline by 5 from 7 in 1980. (186)




ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 20, 2016   #2
Again, I do really enjoy reading your essay, especially when it is well-structured like this. Yet, you need to remember that there is no perfect writing after-all. One thing that you can maintain is your paragraphing structure and your writing style, especially when the actual test is getting near. Furthermore, you can take a closer look on my feedback below.

...depicted in the pie charts.
- It is measured in unit, inbetween 1980 and 2010.
- ... was the most popular electricity generation source in New Zealand (...) three main electricity generation sources in Germany.

- The number of Coal numberunit started at 36 and ...
- ... figure for Natural Gas, it bottomed at 2 from a third.
- ... Hydro rose slightly byfrom 16 to 46 while petroleum...

- ..., 2010 witnessed a marked jump in Nuclear number that reached aits peak at approximately 150.
- Coal number(same case as above) remained unchanged at 28,..

Hope this helps :)


Home / Writing Feedback / Five different sources that can produce electricity in New Zealand and Germany