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IELTS Task 2: fixed punishment vs adjustable punishment. discuss


dido272000 7 / 18 1  
Jul 4, 2013   #1
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others. However, argue that circumstances of an individual crime and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account. Discuss both side and give your opinion

Nowadays, rate of committing crime is progressively increasing throughout the world. However, authorities are looking for solutions to dwindle crime's rate, replacing it with the rise of security in the society. Some people claim that there should be a determined punishment for each crime. While others believe that punishment rules should be flexible and adjustable depends on the situation that the subject was in and the purpose behind it.

On one hand, laws are established to define the framework in which people can freely act in without breaking rules. Since law is one of fundamental bases of a country that introduces discipline and stability to that country, it should be fixed in order to be taken serious. In particular, murder is murder, no matter who has committed the crime or why, he should be punished according to the law. Moreover, if someone thinks of the law as an adjustable element, the possibility that he commits crime will raise.

On the other hand, sometimes a crime may be committed by a person inadvertently. Furthermore, we are not born as a criminal, but if every one of us encounters a critical situation that ceases our ability of thinking, he/she may do something out of rules. Therefore, in such cases authorities should consider the motivation and the circumstance of the crime to mediate the intensity of punishment.

Taking all above in to the account, in my opinion, rules are laid down equally for everyone. However, if individuals be ware of consequences of breaking rules, they will less likely tend to commit crimes. If this trend continues, there is a chance that number of crimes which are committing, decline considerably in the future.
MisterWandering 18 / 321 130  
Jul 4, 2013   #2
rate of committing crime

the rate of/the crime rate

depends on the situation

depending on the situation

they will be less likely tend to commit crimes

Also, I think you should add an example for the second body paragraph to clarify

a critical situation that ceases our ability of thinking, he/she may do something out of rules
OP dido272000 7 / 18 1  
Jul 5, 2013   #3
tnx.
are you sure about putting "be" before less??
dumi 1 / 6,927 1592  
Jul 5, 2013   #4
crime's rate,

"crime rate" or "rate of crimes" sound better

Some people claim that there should be a pre- determined punishment for each crime

While others believe that punishmentsrules should be flexible and adjustable and should dependdepends on the situation that the subject was in and the purpose behind itthem .

Since law is one of the fundamental bases of a country that introduces discipline and stability to that countrysocial system , it should be fixed in order to be taken serious by everybody .

Well, I feel you need to have two things in mind when you do these practice essays ; Keep your writing aligned with the prompt. I think the following point is slightly out of topic;

In particular, murder is murder, no matter who has committed the crime or why, he should be punished according to the law.

--------- your prompt is about fixed and flexibility of punishment and you need to align this point with that aspect.
Second, follow the desired structure for this task.... You need to have specific examples for your reasons, which I don't find in your body paras.


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