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[IELTS] fixed punishment or take into account circumstances

Dear everyone:
I appreciate it if you can correct it for me. Thanks

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There has been much discussion revolving around of the issue of punishment to culprit. An increasing number of people tend to uphold that the circumstances of commit crime and also the motivation should be taken into account on the final judgment instead of fixed punishments for each type of crime.

It is obvious that stereotypical penalty simplify the judicial process. By that I mean each type of crime is corresponding to definite punishment. For instance, if one murder victim, he will be punished by life sentence or capital punishment regardless of circumstance, motivation and so forth. To some extent, it is likely that this way of safeguarding social is sensible on execute national law.

In fact, fixed punishment overly emphasizes the crime and ignores people; therefore some innocent people may be punished unjustly, which will arouse remaining problems. There may be some reasons why these people discarded their former life to commit crime, in other words, what were their motivations? Undeniable, they are, essentially, crucial factors on deciding which type of penalty should be judged to different culprits.

Accordingly, circumstance, motivation and other factors should be taken into account. It is inevitably that the judicative process prolong depend on the complexity of the case. Instead of this, many people who are innocent such as children being advantaged and self-defense person can receive reasonable judgment, while some bribery administrative official who against the law should receive severe punishment due to his identity.

On the basis of the above discussion, I personally think, it is reasonable to consider the situation of crime rather than fixed punishment when deciding the finally judgment.


I suppose that you can try to use "in fact" or "accordingly" on the middle or the end of your sentense. That will make the sentense seems link to another more logically~~ especially in the beginning of a paragragh~~ "add oil"~~ ^0^
the issue of punishment to culprit. for culprits.

It is obvious that stereotypical a fixed penalty can simplify the judicial process.

Undeniably, they are essentially crucial factors when deciding which type of penalty should be imposed on different culprits.----I made a few changes here.

It is inevitably inevitable that the...

I'll take out an unnecessary comma here:
On the basis of the above discussion, I personally think it is reasonable to...

I hope these corrections help you improve your skill! Please practice each corrected sentence. Type each sentence 10 times with the correct grammar, and your typing fingers will remember! :-)
Hi, i just need some clarification on some of your point, hope you can help:

To some extent, it is likely that this way of "safeguarding social" is sensible "on execute national law". What are you referring to?
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