The question is like this:
People attend college or universiy for many different reasons(for example,new experiences,career preparation,increased knowledge). Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
This one is my essay for the TOEFL IBT examination. And I didn`t know exactly about my level, so I want your advices. I would appreciate you so much! Thank you for taking your time to consider my conversation.
Never before in history has the issue of college education been more evident than now. Accumulating number of students poured into university campus for further education. Most of them, from my own part, attend college or university for new experiences, career preparation, and increased knowledge.
One of the most common factors is the appealing and fascinating world the students think about the university. When they finally get into the college, the students may gain some experiences, which they had never experienced before. The opportunities to be independent and temperance will be given by the university, which have strong attractiveness for these juveniles. The example that can support this idea is not only can they have the right to choose the subjects they really interested in, but to select the teachers they respect. Generally, the students in the university are freer than the high school ones. Of course, the chance to leave their parents is surely a new experience maybe a challenge for these freshmen. Definitely, in this angle, the college has become a compelling place for students.
Besides, another reason to explain this phenomenon is career preparation. As we all know, mounting number of institutions in the college such as some associations, a student union and some other areas have been established to improve the student's ability. Responsibility, communication and the distinctive sight can be cultivated in the college, which is extremely useful for the students to get a good job in the future. According to a recent survey, approximately 85.67% working positions offered for graduates provide a preference for those who get some working experiences in the college. If these youngsters were not having the chance to go to university, they would miss the opportunity to improve their ability and gain some experiences. In this way, the career preparation is also another aspect to interpret this question.
Perhaps the primary factor is the students want to increase their knowledge. The world is changing at a rapid pace, driven by science and technology. The countless inventions improve our life quality and innumerous manifestations of science pervade our world, and they profoundly affect the social, economic and cultural outlooks of societies and individuals alike. Hardly can the students live a better life in the future without enough knowledge. So they poured into the university to learn something new in order to win their ultimate aim, have the ability to enjoy their life.
Obviously, new experience, future preparation and enhanced knowledge. That is what I deem about why the students let themselves to work hard to have the chance to study in the university.
When they finally get into the college, the students may gain some experiences, which they had never experienced before.
This is redundant. You can leave off everything after the second comma.
You've also managed to pour people into universities a couple of times now. People don't pour, though. In terms of universities, they matriculate, go to, attend.
Your ideas are good ones. I just think you need to be more careful with your language choices.
