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Focusing on sports facilities is a very narrow approach and would not achieve the desired results.


hungvud 19 / 30 6  
Apr 3, 2013   #1
Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.

Discuss both views and give your own opinion.


There is no doubt that the decline in public health in the recent times has been one of our hottest social issues with conflicting views on how to stem this worrying trend. Some people claim that increasing the number of sports facilities will help, while some will argue that it is not enough. My essay will look at the pros and the cons of both options and present my personal recommendation.

There is a strong argument in favor of making sports facilities more available to people, from which originated an undeniable fact that playing sport is one the best way to keep a person healthy. To play a specific sport, however, one will need a specific sports facility. For example, a stadium is needed for football players; a swimming pool is needed for swimmers, and so on. Therefore, if easy-to-reach local sports centers were more available, people would be more likely to make exercise as a regular part of their life. Conversely, it is also a fact that interest in sport is not universal and that additional facilities might simply attract the already fit, not those who most need them.

There are, however, better ways of improving public health. One of these is making more wholesome parks which would cater for all ages, interests and level of fitness. It is not uncommon to find various types of activities going on in the park such as running, cycling, jogging, or just simply strolling to enjoy fresh air. Needless to say, all these activities considerably help to maintain people's healthy life. The only drawbacks of this method are that it is costly and it takes quite a while to put these parks in operation.

However, for the long-term benefit of public health, I believe it is worth for government to invest in it. Besides, along with physical activity, high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption any of these contributes to poor health, etc.

By way of conclusion, my point of view is that focusing on sports facilities is a very narrow approach and would not achieve the desired results. I believe that people should be encouraged to be not only physically active but also adopt healthier lifestyle in general.
mhss 18 / 53 18  
Apr 3, 2013   #2
Your essay is well al lined.In fact, points for both sides are clearly presented and there are hardly any mistakes.Well done.
Is it really needed to high light both pros and cons of each argument?

Good luck.

mhss.
davesh82 - / 7 2  
Apr 3, 2013   #3
Hi there

I agree this essay is well structured but i found some common mistake in your essay missing 'Connective word' .
Other issue i have found is you are repeating word For example ''There is '' and ''My''.
It is recommended to avoid using me ,my , you , your...

My essay will look at the pros and the cons of both options and present my personal recommendation
You can write .... This essay will look at the pros and cons of both options and present my personal recommendation...

There is no doubt that

You can write .. It is no doubt that...or It is obvious that

To begin with, There is a strong argument i

However, better ways

By way of conclusion, ...==> . From the above evidence it can be concluded..

Regards
Devesh


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