Nowadays, we live in digital aged that every day, we face with new change in the entire world. Some people insist on any changes during their lives, while some people agree that we need to change coincide with any change in the whole world. I completely agree that we need to change as we want to live in the world. In this essay I will discuss both sides of this issue.
Firstly, changes play an important role to improve our lives. With any changes we can find our needs to adapt our lives with new situations. For example, I had a regular, acceptable situation in my country a few years ago. Then I decided to immigrate to Canada because of improving my educational life, but I faced with lots of problems in the new society. Everything has changed in my new life, such as language, finding a new job and my relationships with other people. Therefore, I started to solve all problems that I found in new situation such as my language or evaluation my back grounds educational. Now it is tangible that I improve in many aspects of my life.
Secondly, the environment is changed every time, so we have to follow the rules of the nature. It is well known todays, if you want to save in the world you have to change. Look at the nature that every year they change from one season to another season. In fact, with each season nature change due to solving it's needed. Moreover, life without any changes will be boring and monotonous. Statistic has shown that, people who live in the high quality of life they need to change other than that they feel boring and monotonous.
On the other hand, some people say with any changes we find new risks that maybe it is harmful or dangerous for our lives. For instance, people in Iran changed their government as a revolution in 1975 to find better situation, but in reality they have faced with lots of problem until now.
To sum up, I agree that changes are essential for improving our lives, even though we will suffer of some new problems.
This is my essay... so is it possible correct as a grammar and style ...thanks a lot...
1. you can be more specific, what do you mean by you had a regular and acceptable situation in your country ? do you mean the political and financial state of your country ?
2. "Then I decided to immigrate to Canada because in pursue of a better education" or "Then I decided to immigrate to Canada because I want to improve my education"
3. instead of saying "but I faced with lots of problems in the new society.", - you can say something like you face many challenges brought about by the new environment
4. "evaluation my back grounds educational. " - something wrong with this phrase.
5. "Now it is tangible that I improve in many aspects of my life." - Im not sure if tangible is the correct word, you might want to change it to be clearer on your thoughts.
6. " the environment is changed every time, so we have to follow the rules of the nature. " - after this statement you should follow up with how has nature change and what did people do to follow the rules of it,
7. "with each season nature change due to solving it's needed" - sounds weird also -_-
8. after you talk about nature, you should elaborate more on it, you can talk about climate changes and how it affect different parts of the world, eg. global warming
9. your transition to talk about "life without any changes will be boring and monotonous" is somewhat abrupt
10. it is good that you have point out an opposing view, you should also talk about the benefits of change to tackle the opposing view to better support your argument.
you can elaborate more and bring up more specific example.
overall, the paragraph is somewhat generic. you can bring in anecdotal examples but it is strong encourage that you also include how change has impact the world, basically on a larger scale and elaborate on it. perhaps you might want to start off with something like,
Change is always constant and is inevitable. There are some who support the notion of change while others were receptive to change.
I belong to the former group and believe that without change there would be no progress, and humans would not have come as far as where we are today.
Pls throw a thumbs up for me as support and I'll also be glad to share my thoughts with you should you need any further assistance.
Thank you! :)
what type of your essay is?
before you post your thread? you should write the type of your essay whether it is ielts, toefl, or other types of essay, so the readers will be easier to understand and catch your points
what is more, please put space in between each pararaph
