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[Toefl]-The food we ate in the past was healthier than the food we eat today


censem 2 / 2  
Mar 17, 2012   #1
This is my second practice...and i will take the exam on 24 march... i really hope someone could help me correct it and provide me some advice.

thank you soooo much!!

-----here we go-----

In the past decades, food and health have received a lot of attention. While some people claim that the food we ate in the past was better, I hold the opposite opinion.

Some people may argue about the environment, because the degree of contamination was much lower in the past and the growing environment for crops was better. But a good environment is no guarantee of the eating quality. Given the fact that the equipment for food preservation was simple and crude and the food hygienic standard was lower in the past, it's hard to say the food we ate was healthy. For example, just ten years ago, most people in my hometown were not able to afford refrigerators to preserve food. Considered that salt can prevent food from decay, people at that time prefer to have cure food and that have been proved bad for health. However, with the rapid development of technology, today we have more advanced equipment to preserve food from decaying and the logistical system for food transportation simplifies the conveyance process, which promised the freshness of the food. High technology leads to a more convenient and healthier life.

Some people may argue that food diversification leads to a worse lifestyle, because lots of young people choose to have fast food and that's bad for health. But we should admit that people live in modern times pay more attention to the nutrient arrangement and absorption value of food and drink, because even fast-food restaurants begin to provide menus that reflect how much creoles contained in their foods. There are more nutritionists than before who teach people not only how to arrange different food materials but also how build up a well-balanced diet that can help to fortify the body against disease. For example, more and more specialists encourage people to have organic foods, which have been proved to have more nutritious than conventionally grown food. What's more, some colleges start to create characteristic curriculum such as food research to help students construct good eating habit.

Last but not least, there are more health-care foods that specialized in particular health problems than before. For example, diabetic foods, which contain little sugar or no sugar, are especially for diabetic patients and good for their health.

All in all, with the more advanced science and technology and better eating habits, as well as more health-care foods in this day and age, there is no doubt that the food we have today is much healthier.

Jennyflower81 - / 690 96  
Mar 17, 2012   #2
Hi :) Nice job.

It would look nicer to see this paper in the form of 3 paragraphs- Introduction, body, and conclusion. Try to connect the outlying sentences to form even paragraphs, it will improve the appearance of the essay.

Given the fact that the equipment for food preservation was simple and crude and the food hygienic standard was lower in the past, it's hard to say the food we ate was healthy.

I would re-word this sentence, it sounds disjointed.

Considering that salt can prevent food from decay, people at that time preferred to have cured food,and that have been proved bad for health.which is not very healthy.

However, with the rapid development of technology, today we now have more advanced equipment to preserve food,from decaying and the logistical system for food transportation simplifies the conveyance process, which promisedguarantees the freshness of the food.


The "logistical system" part of this sentence confuses me a bit, distracting me from the argument.

High technology leads to a more convenient and healthier life.
Try to find a better way to say this, because it is too simple and stating the obvious.


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