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Food can be produced more cheaply today because of fertiliser and better machine


andial 21 / 48 3  
Jun 28, 2014   #1
Experts, kindly need your time to review my essay :-)

Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilisers and better machinery. However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that the way of producing food as a primary need of people to survive is much cheaper in the present life. It is obviously because of the advancing of fertilizer as well as sophisticated machinery. While such revolution brings a huge number of benefits, the drawbacks of it which is likely to be harmful for well-being should be taken into account due to having some negative effects on societies. Considering many respects, I personally agree with the latter consideration.

The first consideration which supports my view is the contamination of chemical essence which is likely to be involved in using fertilizers. The improved fertilizers usage is highly required some additional chemical essence to lengthening the expired date of food produced. Based on several updated scientifically inventions, this is particularly harmful for human health knowing that the accumulation of such kind of essence will increase the risk of cancer on the human body.

Another consideration is the relying of inhabitants on instant food produced mainly by better machinery which has a tendency to make inhabitants lazy to make their own food. There are a lot of evidence in our surrounding proven that the existence of instant food that is usually called as 'junk food' not to encourage people to be proactive in reserving healthy food for daily consumption. Clearly, it is not good for inhabitants' lifestyle which tends to simplify everything, including health.

Having said the two main consideration concerning the chemical essence involvement as well as the alteration of inhabitants' way of life, it seems to me that I do not agree with the former opinion because the using of such technology clearly brings many disadvantages that should be paid more attention.

eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Jun 29, 2014   #2
Food can be produced much more cheaply today because of improved fertilisers and better machinery . However, some of the methods used to do this may be dangerous to human health and may have negative effects on local communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

I highlighted keywords to be discussed. In this essay, I did not see the question has been fully answered. Here are some ideas for negatives effects on local communities:

Menial works in arable fields-> relying on machines -> pollution and idleness
tiandteo 4 / 2  
Jun 29, 2014   #3
As Eddies's comments, i think you didn't consider about negative effects on local communities.
Besides, there are some grammar errors, for instance: " It is obviously because of the advancing of fertilizer as well as sophisticated machinery." => obvious, advance


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