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( IELTS essay) foreign visitors should be charged more?


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Dec 5, 2012   #1
In many places, foreign visitors are charged more than locals when they visit cultural or tourist attractions. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Tourism is one of the emerging industries in the world. The policy of charging more from foreigners than local people, viewed as discrimination by so many people while others accept it as being fair. In this essay, I will explain both views and say why I generally agree with foreigners paying more to visit cultural or historical sites.

On the one hand, charging more from the international tourists has many drawbacks. It irrational to charge much more, from foreigners because of their nationality. Nobody likes to pay more for the same thing. Besides, it will affect the peoples' travelling experience negatively. For instance, a foreigner should pay more money and suffer local peoples' harsh behavior by standing in the quae to visit a historical monument may spoil the enjoyment of the total trip. Moreover, the inequality in price will degrade the reputation of the local business, which in turn spoils the tourism industry. Tourist demands for the maximum enjoyment of their money. To compensate with the extra payments, they may become more selective in spending their budget on local markets. It further ruins the business. Once the tourist realize that the cost is high compared with other countries they may choose destination in other countries.

However, there are good reasons why oversea visitors should pay more. Firstly, it is expensive to maintain these tourist attractions. Tourists who are wealthier than the locals, visiting once in their lifetime should compensate to the cost of maintenance by spending few more dollars. Most importantly, if you are dreamed in your whole life to visit India's Taj Mahal, then you should ready to spend a little more for this experience. Secondly, a small increase in charge will not affect their budget. Thirdly, locals paid a lot from their salary as taxes for its maintenance. Lastly, the attraction of a cultural site is part of the local community's history and heritage. They should not pay to learn about their history.

In conclusion, it is important to meet money to maintain the cultural heritages. Local people should try to keep up a good reputation and wise use of their resources. I believe that, charge a little more from the foreign visitors is justifiable.

ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Dec 5, 2012   #2
In conclusion, (for writing a conclusion, restate the thesis statement first and then write a clincher.) it is important to meet money to maintain the cultural heritages. Local people should try to keep up a good reputation and wise use of their resources. I believe that, charge a little more from the foreign visitors is justifiable.

For writing an "agree or disagree" topic follow the template that I wrote below:
1. Introduction: Motivator + Thesis statement (reword the topic) + Your opinion
2: Body:
2.1. The first reason why you are in agreement/disagreement with the topic

2.2 The second reason
3. Conclusion: Reword the thesis statement + Clincher


Hope this helps
Ahmad
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Dec 6, 2012   #3
Hai Ahmad...

Please i want your attention once more..
Thanks for your concern and time for correction.

It was re....ally healpful for me.
I re think about the sentences which i wrote without much concentration.

Because of nationality...: i wrote foreign visitors. Means tourists from other nations not from in side the nation.
Foreign visitors pay more means only because of their nationality they forced to pay more.

:nobody like to pay more for the same thing:
I was confused , whether i can use the word product for scenic beauty, cultural program, tribal celebrations and so on.

In the conclusion is it o.k if i put the last sentence first and leave same remaining sentences...

:really i like your rewrite (suggestion)
But one confusion. If we write on the other hand, it shows the opposite meaning know. Second sentance also is the reason for the same idea.

What about using besides instead of on the other hand..

Please correct me, if my thought is wrong.

Thanks a lot for your efforts.
Tessy
Pahan 1 / 1,907 553  
Dec 6, 2012   #4
It irrational to charge much more, from foreigners because of their nationality

I do not think you need a comma there.

For instance, a foreigner should pay more money and suffer local peoples' harsh behavior by standing in the quae to visit a historical monument may spoil the enjoyment of the total trip.

Quae? I think it's queue you are looking for.
It seems unfair for a foreigner to pay more and to be standing in the same queue with the locals just to see a historical monument. It might spoil his entire journey.

Tourist demands for the maximum enjoyment of their money.

Tourists expect the maximum for what they pay .

I believe that, charge a little more from the foreign visitors is justifiable.

I believe that foreign visitors should be charged slightly more than the locals.
ah_zafari [Contributor] 40 / 672 148  
Dec 6, 2012   #5
Because of nationality...: i wrote foreign visitors. Means tourists from other nations not from in side the nation.
Foreign visitors pay more means only because of their nationality they forced to pay more.

Yes, I got it, but in the essay you should write your ideas clearly. What you wrote is not clear enough. Elaborate on it.

I was confused , whether i can use the word product for scenic beauty, cultural program, tribal celebrations and so on.

Tourists also pay for souvenirs, food, antiquities, handcrafts, etc. So, the things that you mentioned are not the only things that tourists pay for, but they pay for some products as well.

In the conclusion is it o.k if i put the last sentence first and leave same remaining sentences

In the conclusion you need to reword the thesis statement since you should remind the reader about what you was discussing in the body. Then you can write your opinion and finally a clincher.

But one confusion. If we write on the other hand, it shows the opposite meaning know. Second sentance also is the reason for the same idea.

What about using besides instead of on the other hand..

Yes, you right. "In addition", "Furthermore", etc. are better. I just wrote what came through my mind.


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