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TOEFL-"forest is disappearing but needs to be saved."


Y529 2 / 6  
Mar 3, 2011   #1
HI, I'm Yang, I'm preparing for the toefl test. I need some help to improve my writing skills. There is a topic which asks to choose one disappearing natural resource and why I choose it.(use specific reasons to support) I choose forest. Specific reason:1.biodiversity 2.people can learn more from forest.

After the Industrial Revolution, natural resources have been exploited such as fossil oil, forest, mineral, clean water and so on. The space of exploitation is much faster than ever before. We use them to boost our living standards. However, most of these resources are non renewable, that means, if they have been depleted, they cannot be recovered anymore. In my point of view, among these natural treasures, forest is the most important one that we have to do our best to maintain its integrity. It provides a complex and balance living environment that keeps biodiversity and gives us a circumstance that we can definitely learn a lot from it.

First of all, as we know, there are usually a lot of countless fauna and flora in forest. These organisms interact with each other and consist of complex food chains. If some species are extinct, it may cause the influence on other species directly or indirectly. In the end, it may affect human living. For example, with the deforestation, owls become endangered. Their disappearing increases the number of sparrows. These sparrow forces reduced the amount of corps harvest.

In addition, there are many amazing characters in creatures. These distinguishing aspects can be implemented in to our live. People can learn more by observing and studying these creatures in forest. For example, the streamline body of fish helps scientific engineers to invent the shape of planes. The feature of streamline shape is good for reducing resistance from water or air.

To conclude, people may use resource to benefit their living, however, maintaining the existence of the forest not only avoids the imbalance on biodiversity and biosystem but also provide us a place to study more details from different organisms. As the reasons that I mentioned above, forest is an important natural resource that we should try our best to maintain it.

KathyLala 20 / 116  
Mar 4, 2011   #2
I have some ideas; you reason "2.people can learn more from forest." although this is a good one, I feel that this is too general, too broad. What people learn from the forest? animal habitant, for example. Why learning animal habitant helps in people's lives? research indicated that some animals can tell us when there is an earthquake, storm...

You essay elso mention with deforestation, which is a good point and a reason for flooding too! if you want to write about it

=> After the Industrial Revolution <= I wonder what is Industrial Revolution? name of something? (that is why you capital)

=> It provides creatures an environment to keep? (It provides nature environment?)

=> Their disappearance increases the amount of sparrow, and these sparrows cause the reduced amount
of rice harvest.
BarbieTsu 2 / 4  
Mar 6, 2011   #3
In my opinion , forest usually have countless fauna and flora.

I think "in my opinion" is redundant because you've already used "In my view" in before sentence.

You have the good idea, but you must write more and more. Using combine words and relative clauses will make your essay more professional.
OP Y529 2 / 6  
Mar 9, 2011   #4
KathyLala and BarbieTsu, thanks for your opinions!!!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 9, 2011   #5
one word: cannot
... they cannot be recovered.

In my view, among these natural resources, the forest is the most important one. It provides creatures a an environment to keep ...

In my opinion, forest usually have countless fauna and flora.----This is not an opinion. You can say: In my observation, forests usually have...

On the other hand...

People usually learn lessons from nature by observing the creatures.

To conclude, the existance of the forest can keep ...

Nice job, Yang! I'm glad you joined EssayForum! Please practice by typing the essay again and using these corrections. If you don't type the essay again, you can't learn to fix the mistakes. :-)
niesaysi 16 / 284 83  
Mar 16, 2011   #6
hello...

I hope you will provide your opinions about my eaasyessay which helps me a lot!

These distinguishing aspects can be implemented into our lives..

you know, there is paragraph emphasis. I like your paragraph writing. Your central idea is written consistently...great!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Mar 20, 2011   #7
However, most of these resources are non renewable, and that means if they have been depleted they cannot be recovered anymore. ----Notice the small changes I made here. It was a "run on sentence" before I made those corrections.

In my point of view, among these natural treasures, the forest is the most important, one that and we have to do our best to maintain its integrity.

These sparrows forces force a reduction in the amount of crops harvested.

For the reasons that I mentioned above, the forest is an important natural resource that we should try our best to maintain.

:-)

You write very well! I am inspired by your hard work...
OP Y529 2 / 6  
Mar 21, 2011   #8
Jhonies Saysi and kevin, thanks for your help!!


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