nkoksokbaby 2 / 2 1 Apr 11, 2021 #1One more useless thread title = ban.You eat at your college cafeteria every lunch time. However, you think it needs some improvements.Write a letter to the cafeteria manager. In your lefter:- Explain what you like about the cafeteria- Say what is wrong- Suggest how it could be improvedDear Sir or Madam,I am writing this to inform you that there are some problems in the campus cafeteria which need you to pay attention and take action.My name is Elsa and I am a loyal customer of your cafeteria ever since I started my university program 3 years ago. The food served here has always been extremely high quality and fresh at very affordable prices. As I am a vegetarian, the meat-free option that your store offer is incredible.However, I started realizing some issues as I come here for my lunch every single school day. The seating capacity is not enough to serve all the students, I have observed many students had to stand up and eat during peak time. Furthermore, your heating system is not running well either, especially in the wintertime. I often feel like I walk in a freezer when my fellows and I visit your place.I feel that these limitations are quite easy to address by investing more in renovations and purchasing more furniture. The restaurant is quite busy because you are the only place that has vegan options here on campus so that I believe you have the financial stable to take these actions.I hope you will take this into account in order to contribute to our better campus.Yours faithfully,Elsa Hoang
Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,801 4780 Apr 13, 2021 #2The first sentence in the letter is too abrupt. You need to have a formal and cordial opening paragraph prior to declaring your problem with the cafeteria. Review the slant of the discussion presentation in the original prompt. Each prompt reflects the function of each paragraph. The first sentence you are using does not fall in line with the expected presentation format. There are 3 discussion paragraph topics required. There should be 3 discussion paragraphs provided in the body excluding the opening salutation ( Dear Sir or Madam) and concluding paragraph + closing salutation.Make your attendance at the school more definite. Indicate your full name, student number, major, and year level of attendance at the university. This will help give weight to your concern and force the reader to take your letter seriously.
