Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4


Formal education start at early ages? Let children play and enjoy childhood (IELTS)


joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 2, 2013   #1
Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age should spend most of their time on school studies. Others believe that young children should spend most of their time playing. Compare these two views. Which view do you agree? Why?

Children are innocent, impulsive and creative. People learn so many things through their entire life. Some people argue that children should spend most of their early childhood in home, while others hold the opinion that they should start their formal education as early as possible. However, I believe that, it is healthier to allow small children to play more as it is favorable for their future success.

There are some advantages in starting education in the early age. Firstly, children will get more opportunities to succeed in their future life. Early studies help them to expertise in their knowledge and help them to make better professionals. Secondly, as their brain is in the developmental stage, it is easy for them to grasp more knowledge easily. These knowledge and experiences enrich their life and broader their wisdom and outlook which are priceless. Lastly, overcoming stress of studies in the early stages itself will be a blessing for their future studies.

However, childhood is the golden period of our life. It should be a period of freedom, enjoyment and absence of responsibilities. As 'Experience is the best teacher' children can be skilled at so many things through their experiences and interactions with others and friends. Undoubtedly, the childhood experience has a great impact on their future life. Moreover, the basic qualities like sharing, caring, kindness, self-confidence and so on are imparted through playing. These traits cannot be gained from books. Therefore, children are encouraged to play more with their friends and family members. Imagine that a child is exhausted and tired with his home works and studies instead of playing with his friends at an age of four years. Besides, the child may lose the interest to study and it will be heavy for his bright future. Another point is that, children needs proper exercise for the proper development of brain and body.

To conclude, it is better to allow small children to engage more in their play, as it is essential for the total development of the mind and body. This will enables them to attain the ability to make decisions, analyze things, make conclusions and so on, which are pivotal in their future success.
nono824 2 / 3  
Jan 3, 2013   #2
Early studies help them to expertise in their "knowledge" and help them to make better professionals. Secondly, as their brain is in the developmental stage, it is easy for them to grasp more "knowledge' easily.

you should change " knowledge " into another synonym.

or "It is easy for them access to education.
OP joythblessy 86 / 272 15  
Jan 4, 2013   #3
hai Nono...

Thanks for the correction..

The 1st one i changed to wisdom

Tessy
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Jan 8, 2013   #4
Children are innocent

... Are they? :P

Children are innocent, impulsive and creative. People learn so many things through their entire life.

These two lines are loosely connected. I think you should take off the second one coz it doesn't really contribute to the flow. Instead it distracts the flow. Strictly stick to your topic :)

However, I believe that, it is healthier to allow small children to play more as it is favorable for their future success.

However, I believe that it is healthier to let small children play and enjoy their childhood because it allows them to learn very important lessons and life skills in a natural process that has a major bearing on their adult life.


Home / Writing Feedback / Formal education start at early ages? Let children play and enjoy childhood (IELTS)
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳