IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - formal schooling or independent learning online at home?

STUDYING WITH A GROUP OF STUDENTS IN A CLASSROOM IS MORE BENEFICIAL THAN LEARNING ONLINE AT HOME.

TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Many people advocate taking part in formal schooling is deemed more advantageous than online independent learning at home. Although studying at school renders us many merits, I personally partly agree with this notion.

On the one hand, there are many virtues gained from going to school for some grounds. First of all, educated at school is considered an effective way as students can learn a wide range of skills ranging from theory to hands-on experiences. Apparently, learners also have more opportunities to pressure their opinions which lend a hand to develop communication or teamwork skills compared to those who are on the fence. More importantly, the resource of knowledge as well as facilities are more advanced by virtue of the economical investment of many firms and states. For example, each year a myriad of the budget state is used for updating books and equipment bringing about the best services for their future talents

Despite many aforementioned arguments, I believe that learning online at home can also lead to some merits. To begin with, self-discipline can be got better by learning online. In other words, to those who do not fail to resist the temptation to entertain negatively are inclined to address problems more effectively. Moreover, a variety of learning materials make a demand for the ability to select information in a clear way which enhances the awareness of an issue whether it is right or wrong. Besides, the omnipresence of many online courses benefits learners to absorb knowledge at anytime or anywhere.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that formal schooling as well as learning online should be combined in order to promote their comprehensive education.

I hope to get your help! Thanks a million!

It is difficult to defend a single opinion stance when you say you "personally partially agree with this notion". Mostly because you already admitted to the merits of school based studies. So you are contradicting yourself in the sentence presentation. This blurs your actual opinion and affects your TA score as you will be judged to "not have a clear opinion presentation". For this type of writing it is always better to either agree or disagree, basing the extent of the opinion on a specifically provided reason instead. That type of presentation creates a "clear opinion" for the examiner, who will then simply judge your writing on other scoring considerations.

The extent essay is not to be written in a comparative format. That is because the instruction is asking you to defend only one opinion, either you agree or disagree to a specific extent. The "extent" will be based on the 2 related reasons that you will be presenting within the 2 reasoning paragraphs. That will help to further clarify and support the extent of your opinion presentation in the first paragraph.

When you see the word OR in the instructions for writing, that is the automatic signal that you have to write a single opinion essay. OR is used to signify a choice between 2 options. You cannot choose to defend both options in this case because of the existence of the word OR. Now, if you are asked to discuss both opinions, then you must use the comparative format for writing that essay.

Thank you for your help! I will try to improve it.