My teacher always seems to find a million places to put commas and when I look I wonder if she even knows where the commas go! I know I need to add a few but where? is the problem. Any other assistance would be appreciated. This is a college essay, definition, no sources needed. Thanks in advance!
____________Essay Here_______________________
Foster care, is the temporary placement, of a child outside of the home of the natural parents. Children are placed with a foster family by the state's Child Welfare organization usually due to abuse, neglect, illness, or abandonment or whose parents are unable to fulfill their parenting obligations because of illness, emotional problems or a host of other reasons including adoption. Foster care can be a negative option for many children because they are more likely to get in trouble. They are torn away from everything they know and love and they may have a hard time being placed in a home that suits their needs. Additionally, there is the possibility of the child being wrongfully removed from the home.
Foster care can be helpful in aiding parents get the parental training they need to be better parents. However, this can be detrimental to the child if they remain in care for long periods of time and it also takes a toll on society. Research has discovered that adults and teens that were placed in foster care were more likely to go to prison, become homeless, have a higher rate of teen pregnancy, and receive welfare benefits. Less than half graduate high school than those that were placed back in their biological parents homes. Since the findings of these studies there has been more of a push from the government to place these children back in the homes with their natural parents or with adopted parents as soon as possible. Unfortunately, the push for placement may not be in the child's best interest. If parents are pushed to get their children back within a certain time frame, they may not have ample time to get the treatment they need to be fit parents. On the other hand if parents are not able to complete the classes and treatment required by the courts and child welfare in the time frame given, they may risk losing their child and having them put up for adoption.
Studies have also shown that children that are placed in foster care with their siblings fare better than those who are placed separately. The exact reason for this is unknown but there are many theories that suggest the children do better because they are with someone they know and it still gives the children a sense of home even though they are away from home. Placing siblings together may be a hard task to accomplish for child services due to age gaps, behaviors, types of abuse and the number or sex of siblings. Most foster families have a required age group or "type" of child they will accept, so a child that may have any types of abuse; for example, physical or sexual abuse may have a harder time finding placement than a child who was neglected or has disabilities might. It has also been found that the younger the child is when they are removed; the harder time they will have adjusting to the foster family and with their own family once reunited. The child may never be able to create a secure bond with their parents. It is believed this is why so many children end up having detachment issues and severe emotional turmoil when they reach their teen years.
This brings us to another topic that has created much doubt over whether foster care is in the best interest of the children and that is the possibility of a child being removed in error or when it is not warranted. States have their own guidelines set forth that help them decide if a child should be removed from their home or not. But in certain situations children have been removed with little evidence other than word of mouth from the children or an assumption from a child care provider or a teacher. For example, if a child arrives at school with bruises a teacher asks the child what happened, the child may lie and say the parent injured them. The next step mandated by the school is to inform police and have them evaluated by the school nurse and the police. At times children have lied and felt stuck and feel they have no choice but to continue lying because there is a police officer present and they fear that they will get in trouble. Often times the child is removed immediately after school and any other children in the home are removed while the child welfare agency investigates the claims of abuse which could take weeks or even months.
Foster care was not intended to be an evil factor, but the time a child spends away from their families is a traumatizing time and may leave them with emotional scars that will last forever. The length of care can vary depending on the situations that surround the case details. States claim they are trying to keep children with family members or in the homes more now than they did previously. They are required to make every attempt to keep a child in their homes and not remove them unless there is an extreme risk to the child but in most cases, the child is removed first, then the state decides what they should do with the family.
Foster care, is the temporary placement, of a child outside of the home of the natural parents. Children are placed with a foster family by the state's Child Welfare organization usually due to abuse, neglect, illness, or abandonment or whose parents are unable to fulfill their parenting obligations because of illness, emotional problems, or a host of other reasons including adoption.
This was mostly fine grammatically, I actually removed a lot of commas in the first paragraph! Other than that I just added and removed commas in a few places, but overall good job.
Marco, you are great! That was nice of you to go through the whole thing.
Yeah, Sarah, you use to many commas. :-) Now that you are thinking about this, please make time to check out Strunk and White's Elements of Style next time you are at a book store... it is great to get confident about commas. :-)
QUICK LESSON ABOUT COMMAS:
Foster care, is the temporary placement, of a child outside of the home of the natural parents.----- these commas are not necessary. You only need commas when you pause in the middle of a sentence to add something extra, like this:
Foster care, an important part of society's effort to help children, is the temporary placement of a child outside of the home of the natural parents.
And you can even do it with dashes:
Foster care -- an important part of society's effort to help children -- is the temporary placement of a child outside of the home of the natural parents.
QUICK LESSON ABOUT SEMI-COLONS:
It has also been found that the younger the child is when they are removed; the harder time they will have adjusting to the foster family and with their own family once reunited. ----- this use of a semi-colon is not correct. A semi-colon is supposed to work just like a period, which separates complete sentences from one another, and semi-colons are special because they are used instead of periods when sentences are closely related.
This is the correct way:
It has also been found that the younger the child is when they are removed the harder time they will have adjusting to the foster family and with their own family once reunited.-- no comma is necessary even though it seems like one is! It is because that phrase in the middle of the sentence is important for expressing the idea of the sentence. When the phrase in the middle of the sentence is important for expressing the idea of the sentence no comma is really necessary.
FINAL THOUGHT ABOUT COMMAS:
They are about your personal style! Sometimes, when you read a novel by that person who wrote ceremony... um... Leslie Silko! You will notice that she does not use commas all the time when she is supposed to. This is an important part of her style and the reason why writing, though a kind of "craft," is also an art.
Thanks guys you rock! I may have over done it with the commas, but I tried to add in some. I rarely use them in my writing unless it is an obvious split but my teacher seems to be the comma queen and likes to dock points for every grammitical error even if it was an accident. Oh, isn't college great? So much better the second time around!
