Unanswered [15] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 4

Writing Task 1: Foster Road' Alterations


Anhy chan 12 / 23 1  
May 1, 2017   #1

Road changes connected with an installation process



The picture illustrates the Foster Road's alterations on both SE 84 th and 85 th avenue as the result of instalation process. At the first glance, it is immediately apparent that Foster road became more convenient by means of trees and road-arrangement facilities' existances.

To begin with, Foster Road before the instalation consist of two main ways throughed by driver and separated into two path in opposite lane. Beside that, the road did not have any space for walkers to pass, so did the bicycle lanes. Furthermore, the road looks so warm because there is no plants neither on left nor right side of the way.

Interestingly, a significant improvement witnessed on the road after the instalations. It can be seen obviously that there a lot of trees grown throughout the Foster Road's, makes the road become so greeny. In addition, the other changes show by the existance of pedestrian patway on both sides of road, so did the bicycle lane. Likewise, the new crossing road build beside the traffic lights.




agus_mono 13 / 23 2  
May 1, 2017   #2
hay @Anhy chan
i have several advice that may can help you to finish this essay. firstly, you have to pay more attention on your grammatical accuracy. make sure the question in before you write deeply. in my perspective, this sentence have t contain future tense because this is a propose alteration, so this maps is a proposal. furthermore, focus on using passive sentence, like you did in the third paragraph 'a significant improvement witnessed on the road after the installations', make sure this sentence because if it is passive, there is no verb, and if it is active, the inappropriate tense may you did here.

in addition, in your overview sentence, you must mention that the alteration is convenient for whom. it is because the car lane is narrowed down so that car drivers may lack of convenience.
syamsiahRahim 9 / 15 3  
May 1, 2017   #3
Hi anhy ..

I will give you some feedback
avenue as the result of instalation (pay attention with your spelling)
road-arrangement facilities' existances (existence) (you must not put "s" for existence because it noun Uncountable while it countable it should be singular)

the instalation consist (consists) of two main ways

there is no plants neither on left nor right side of the way. (if you use neither...nor in your sentence you do not need mention "no" because" neither...nor" has marked about it)

the new crossing road build beside the traffic lights.(this sentence should be passive form)
OP Anhy chan 12 / 23 1  
May 1, 2017   #4
thanks for your suggestion @agus_mono


Home / Writing Feedback / Writing Task 1: Foster Road' Alterations