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The foundation for sportsmen's success. PHYSICAL STRENGTH AND MENTAL STRENGTH IN SPORT

Pham Bien 1 / 1  
Feb 16, 2021   #1
Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important.
Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In order to accomplish in sport, while many people claim that one must be physically strong, others believe that the focus should be on mental agility. In my opinion, I consider that physical strength lays the foundation for sportsmen's success on their fields.

On the one hand, it is sometimes thought that being physically agile is the basis of success and I agree. In order to reach the aspired level of physical fitness, sportsmen often subject themselves to a balanced, well-developed diet and exercise regimen. This is essential when it comes to physically demanding sports such as football, basketball, boat sailing, weight lifting which require a high level of stamina and endurance to perform well. Some sport stars, however, have even chosen to take shortcuts by using illegal substances such as doping to sustain physical condition and reach top performance which pays the heavy price for their career.

On the other hand, it is common belief that mental agility plays the prime role sportsmen's accomplishment. Failures and disappointment are common in sports, so it is vital that one be mentally strong to overcome these and achieve the best. If sportspeople can not foster a good spirit, they are more susceptible to successive failures and low morale. Another reason why mental strength is of great importance is that athletes can sometimes find workout tedious and repetitive. Therefore, they must be trained mentally to stay focused and sustain their motivation which will, consequently, produce better sport performance and output.

In conclusion, despite people having different perspectives, I believe that sportsmen stand a better chance to succeed if they are physically fit.

(269 words)

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,317 3351  
Feb 17, 2021   #2
Analyze the instructions before you write your essay. Look at what the topic is actually representing. There are 2 public beliefs about the topic. One in support and one against. Each one has a valid reason that the public supports because they believe it to be true. That is why the discussion instruction asks you to consider the two public points of view by discussing each opinion from the topic presentation in individual paragraphs. Consider both discussions, based on the supporting public sentiment, then offer your personal opinion. You are not being asked to compare and contrast the two opinions based on your personal point of view. So, what is missing in this opinion essay of yours? The proper comparison of the public opinions, prior to your personal opinion. You cannot simply say that you agree. The personal opinion needs to be based on a proper consideration of the public opinions based on your agreement and disagreement with these presented considerations. The personal opinion, based on this particular presentation, would have been better supported as a stand alone paragraph after the public opinion that you agree with.

The conclusion is also problematic as the presentation does not offer a proper summary of the discussion, which should comprise at least 40 words. All you did was present your personal opinion once again, which is an incomplete concluding recap presentation.
coolbaby 1 / 1 1  
Feb 17, 2021   #3
Hi @Pham Blen,

For your essay, it is valid that you backed up both claims with evidence to try and support your reasoning. However, I think you should cut back from using the word "physical" too much since it's one of the words in the question. For example, if I were to ask you what kind of activities you do, it wouldn't be a suffice answer to say, I do water activities. Try and be more precise in your explanation. Additionally, I would advise you to change up your conclusion since it doesn't really sum up your body paragraphs.

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