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There are four natural circle stages. Process of Silkworm's Life and Silk Cloth

Hujjatul19 45 / 70 3  
Nov 1, 2016   #1
The given diagrams indicate the silkworm's life cycle and how it produces silk. At a glance, there are four natural circle stages started from eggs while the latter passes five linear steps to create silk cloth utilizing pupa.

Firstly, eggs from moth will hatch after it brooded within ten days to be a silkworm larva. Spending a month or one a half month consume mulberry leave, it then create silk thread covering their body. Later, before it needs double eight days to transform into moth and lay eggs, it spends approximately three to eight days to be a chrysalis.

Next, to produce a silk cloth, a pupa that is got from silkworm's cycle life is utilized. To get it loose, it is boiled in the hot water. After it is being stretched, a 300 - 900 m yarn then is created. Afterwards, before it dyed, it can be twisted first or being weaved.

ichanpants89 [Contributor] 16 / 777 309  
Nov 1, 2016   #2
Hi Mujadiddah,
Here's my analysis towards your report summary of IELTS task 1. I hope you can follow through.

1st paragraph:
- Most of IELTS candidates are failed to create an appropriate overview. This is dangerous for those who want to reach band 6 or above. My suggestion is that you need to complete the way that you present the information in the overview / introduction of your essay. You accidentally created only two sentences in what was otherwise a very strong start to your essay. Your mistake was compressing the information into the two sentences you presented. Format your opening statement into at least three sentences this way:

>> The given diagrams... (1st sentence)
>> At a glance,.... (2nd sentence)
>> Moreover, the longest process occurs when cocoon... (3rd sentence)

Overall, I reckon that this type of essay needs passive form of sentences. I can notice that your essay were still consist of more active sentences than passive sentences. Composing appropriate sentences are also one of the essential criteria of IELTS task 1 essay, particularly in grammatical range and accuracy. I hope you can do better in the next practice :)

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