Some people say that in the modern world it is very difficult for people to have a healthy lifestyle. Others, however, say that it is easy for people to be healthy and fit if they want to be. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Recent years, being healthy is quite hard for several persons. Meanwhile others have opposite perception, and it just is depend on their willingness. Busy time is the mean reason for this problem, but I believe that persons can have time to do sport if they give space time for it.
First of all, people especially workers and employees are always busy every day. Actually they go to work in early morning and go home over night. This activity makes them too tired to do other activity like sport. Meanwhile, in the weekend, they always use it to take rest or make quality time with their family. For example, every weekday, my father always spends much time in his office and arrives at home when I have slept. Than in weekend he always takes a rest and watch movie together with me and my mom.
On the other hand, somebody has told me that time will be free if we give them space. Though every person has their own activity, and most of them have busy time, they can do certain activity if they want it. For example, employees just work in weekday, and they have free time in weekend. So, they can use their holiday to do sport, or they can do physical exercise in their office even just push. All of these activities are reasonable, and it just is just depend on their willingness.
Overall it can be seen that the healthy life come from their self. Furthermore if they want to give them free space of time, they also can make it happen.
Hello Pramudiana27. i think your essay is pretty good, but this is my suggestion.
1. Meanwhile, others have opposite perception...
i think in this sentence, you missed out to put a comma after conjunction "meanwhile"
... people especially workers and employees are always ...
i think the words between "workers" and "employees" are have same meaning. so you can write one of them. or if you want to use both, you should use conjunction "or"
3. Furthermore, if they want to give them ...
i think in this sentence, you missed out to put a comma after conjunction "furthermore"
4. ThanThen in weekend he always...
than --> used to explain the comparison. [......more.....than....]
then---> adverb --> to mean "next"
i think this sentence more suitable with use "then"
i hope it will be useful. good luck
