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"If I cannot have freedom, I'd rather not be alive": GRE issue essay


radwa 6 / 11  
Sep 28, 2010   #1
Prompt: "If I cannot have freedom, I'd rather not be alive"
Looking Forward To Your Comments! :)

Quoting Mel Gibson as the lead character in Braveheart: "Aye, Fight and you may die! Run and you'll live, at least a while. But dying on your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just once chance, to come back here and show our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!" It is one of the essential rights all human beings are entitled to, apart from the infernal ones that is. Clearly one can grasp this concept once confronted ...

name_here - / 37  
Sep 28, 2010   #2
Quoting Mel Gibson as the lead character in Braveheart: "Aye, Fight and you may die! Run and you'll live, at least a while. But dying on your bed many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just once chance, to come back here and show our enemies that they may take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!"(This is kind of an awkward start to your essay.) It is one of the essential rights all human beings are entitled to, apart from the infernal ones(what do you mean?) that is. Clearly one can grasp this concept once confronted with the studies on prisoners, sentenced for life, and the plummeting age expectancy due to psychological-related disorders, originating from their lack of freedom!.

Freedom comes in all shapes and forms, each with a unique sense of fulfillment, that is characteristic . The first rank is conquered by a freedom of speech, a practice which eptiomizesepitomizes and typifies a democratic regime. If it weren't for this right, the Watergate scandal and the Vatican child abuse scandals would have flewown below the radar. The public deserves to be told the veracity. If only such practices existed in Germany as a demagogue represented in Hitler was leading the population into the second world war.

Furthermore, a personal opinion should by no means be considered nugatory because it contradicts the mainstream direction. Having to succumb to the point of view of others is not only heinous, but utter absurdityis utterly absurd . The choices each one of us makes will ultimately reflect our way of thinking, dreams and longings. You can only imagine how Charles Dickens would have altered the nexus of his novel if Pip hadn't had the freedom of choosing to bid farewell to his humble life and would have probably always pined for a chance to pursue his great expectations.

In addition, toleratent benevolent human beings embrace a freedom of religion. Contemplating on the view of Cairo's symbol, Egypt's capital, a classical portray of a minaret of a mosque next to a spire of a church. Concentrating on what unites people, it is no wonder that all religions can coexist peacefully. Each votary and its followers should be provided with an area of worship and their traditions respected.

An ancient russian aphorism states that a person has a freedom of extending his hands to his sides in the air, as long as he is not touching his neighbor's nose. As long as the rights of others are respected, freedom is our God-given right and should never be absconded!
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Oct 1, 2010   #3
It is one of the essential rights all human beings are entitled to, apart from the infernal ones that is. ---- I'm not sure what this means.

The public deserves to be told the veracity truth.--- veracity means honesty, or truthfulness, but not truth.

Plural:
Having to succumb to the points of view of others is not only ...

Capitalize Russian

I don't like the thesis sentence at the end of the first paragraph. It makes it seem like this is just about prisoners. But Braveheart was not about people kept as prisoners; it is about oppression.

I think you should just come up with a better thesis statement that conveys the main idea of the essay. End that first paragraph with a thesis statement that really captures what you mean to say as the message of the essay.


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