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Ielts task 2: Freedom in art. I mostly agree with this idea.

tran14 12 / 26 7  
Sep 4, 2017   #1
Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music, film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no public or government restrictions on what they do.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Freedom in art.

Creativity is one of the most pivotal factors that artists need to create masterpieces. Nonetheless, there has been a debate whether those who perform art in various forms, such as movies, poems and so on, should be permitted to act in whatever way they want. Though I am mostly in favour of this reckon, it is my belief that the government still has the right to interfere.

On the one hand, artists deserve freedom demonstrate what they want to express as limit in creativity brings out several drawbacks. Firstly, it lessens value of art, since many contents are considered inappropriate to the authorities, some countries even go far enough to ban products which contain these from being officially distributed. Take nudity as an example, it is regarded as mundane to many individuals, yet seems to be natural beauty in the eyes of who loves art. Furthermore, in the sense that the extent of content is limited, there would be a decrease in the number of people who take interest in this field. Secondly, performing under control may bore artists and make them lose interest in their career, as their ideas tend to be restricted by laws and policies. This can also be the main culprit that kills human creativity and development.

On the other hand, limitation is never unimportant. This is because of the fact that not every work is appropriate to be introduced to the public. It is a must to censor the artists' contributions in the first place. For instance, responsible authorities ought to check the quality of products like movies or books before allowing them to be released in order to eliminate the possibilities of heavily violent or misleading details.

In conclusion, I mostly agree with the idea of freedom in terms of art performance by virtue of the benefits downplaying the negative sides. Nevertheless, there also should be solutions to prevent the cons.

Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,147 3277  
Sep 4, 2017   #2
Tran, you need to learn that you are not supposed to create your own prompt question when writing an essay. The original prompt is not there for you to simply disregard so you can discuss a topic that you want in relation to the original prompt. When you show that you do not understand English instructions, you will not pass the test. Let me show you the correct paraphrase for this discussion:

Creative artists require the freedom to openly express their artistic concepts and ideas in a manner that they deem fit. This can be done by an artist through an artistic representation using words, pictures, music, film, or any alternative form of art. There are times when the public and the government tend to try and control these artistic declarations. Based upon the controlling actions of the public and government, there have been a number of people who have said that there is no room for public and government restrictions in art. I strongly disagree with this statement for reasons that I will be discussing below.

Do you see how different our opening statements are? Mine is more in line with the original prompt presentation. Yours, on the other hand, is nowhere near the original discussion instruction.

This is a single opinion discussion essay that requires you to defend your stance. Why did you offer a comparison essay to the examiner? Please, do your best and try to learn the different types of IELTS Task 2 discussion essay formats. You need to pair up a particular discussion style with a particular discussion instruction. If you don't do that, you end up writing an essay that deviates from the prompt and will result in a failing score.
Wakalanud 3 / 7 3  
Sep 5, 2017   #3
hay @tran14, i'm also not really good at writing, but i just want to share what i know.

1. Better if you write down no more than 270 words because as many as word you write, many mistakes will appear and it will impact on your score.

2. better if you reduce to use cohesive device, if i'm not mistaken there are 9 cohesive devices that you use in first paragraph and it is not really good i guess.
Nilendra 3 / 8 3  
Sep 5, 2017   #4
@tran14 your essay has few grammatical errors as you know in your IELTS essay you should add more complex and compound sentences together with simple sentences to take a high score, so, you should concentrate on that too.

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