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[IELTS - Task 1]; French Dialects - report writing


trungbeo_8 1 / -  
Mar 22, 2013   #1
Given are two figures concerning interactions in various dialects between French adults and their offspring. Generally overall, Alsatian replaced Occitan as the most widely-enjoined indigenous language as time elapsed.

It is worth pointing out Alsatian and Occitan were equally pivotal in terms of routinely spoken languages with the number of approximately 600 thousand users. Albeit, as the frequency of usage declined, Occitan enjoyed a burgeoning growth to just under 1.1 million users, outstripped over three times less prevalent Alsatian which now stood at somewhere in the vicinity of 200 thousand adults users. Regardless of the frequency of utilized dialects, Breton, Creole, Corsican successively shared the next ranks in the ladder of popularity. This order remained constant given did Breton witness a more significant increase than Creole, Corsican when they were frequently spoken.

Though being rated as three lest significant languages, Breton, Creole, Corsican only saw as marginal drop in number of adults speak to their children whilst Alsatian has experienced a decrease of one third its previous quantity and Occitan has overcome a half. As a result, Alsatian has become the most widely-enjoyed indigenous language though it would be a step backward in comparison with its prevalence in earlier times.

This is the end of my report

dumi 1 / 6,928 1592  
Mar 22, 2013   #2
You should have uploaded the graphs. Make sure you do so in your next post so that others can give you more relevant comments.

Given are two figures concerning interactions in various dialects between French adults and their offspring.

.... this line is very confusing, especially when you don't have access to the graphical representation, it is very difficult to understand what you are trying to say.

Generally overallOverall, Alsatian replaced Occitan as the most widely-enjoined indigenous language as time elapsed.

Though being rated as three lest significant languages, Breton, Creole, Corsican only saw seen as marginal drop in number of adults speak to their children whilst Alsatian has experienced a decrease of one third its previous quantity and Occitan has overcome a half.

... this has many issues; first, this line is too long that disturbs your flow of ideas. Also the clarity of your ideas is at a very low level, plus grammar issues also can be seen . You better re-phrase this line with two or three short lines.


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