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Fresh tea leaves picking is the first step of manufacturing black tea; IELTS diagram


madmoiselle 21 / 33 5  
Jul 24, 2016   #1
Two different methods of manufacturing black tea are depicted in the diagrams. The two of these processes are traditional and modern ways. Overall, there are five steps of how to produce the tea.

Initially, pick the fresh tea leaves which is only bud and the two top of the leaves. These leaves are the best quality than others part ones. Then, these leaves are put on the rack and withered by air, so that the sixty percent of moisture are out. After withering, the leaves are hit by using two different methods.

The first is traditional method. This method is by rolling the tea leaves become flat and broken, thereby the enzymes from the leaves release. The next step is oxidation. The rolled leaves, then spread on the tiles. In this process, the leaves colour change becoming copper because of encountering the substance of enzymes and air. Lastly, it is frying process. The leaves are put in the oven for reducing the moisture up to 97%.

The next method is modern way. This is the quicker process than the previous one. First, the leaves are cut, torn and curled become smaller granular pieces. After that, these leaves are spread on the cement which is called fermentation process. After the leaves colour changes being copper, the leaves then dried in the hot dryers. Therefore the flavor and aroma of black tea release.




akbartaufiq25 7 / 81 54  
Jul 25, 2016   #2
Hello, Réré! It's nice to see your work again! Two thumbs for your efforts in enhancing your writing, especially for the IELTS! You can also share your experience about your preparation for the exam to the big family of EF.

Now when it comes to the essay, I can say that the above example is understandable. The ideas are systematically written and the task achievement is good. The thing that you need to consider is the use of varied lexical choice; for instance, I found that you often use the word "after". Several synonyms (or transitional phrases/signals), for example furthermore, can be used to indicate a sequence.

Also, I am not sure that putting "The next.." in the last paragraph is a better option as you are not going to introduce a new sequence instead giving another idea. Therefore, re-wording it with "Another" will be appropriate. Be careful with the lexical choices.

That's all from me.Hope this helps! Best regards.
justivy03 - / 2,371 607  
Jul 25, 2016   #3
HI Rere, below is my take on your analysis;

- The two of theseThis processes are
- steps of how to produce theproducing tea.

- which is only budin their budding stage and
- the two top two petals of the leaves.
- the others part onesparts . - Then, these leaves are putplaced inon the rack
- that the sixty percent of moisture are outcan be drained .
- After withering, the leaves are hit by using two different methods. - this sentence is quiet confusing, please elaborate.

- method is doneis by rolling
- the tea leaves to become flat and broken,
- thereby the enzymes from the leaves are released .
- leaves,are then spread

- The next method is a modern way.
- After the leaves colour changes beingto copper, - the leaves are then dried in the hot dryers.
- Therefore the flavor and aroma of black tea is released .

There you have it Rere, this analysis has some points that are quiet confusing, I believe its simply because of the choice of words that you used in your sentences, otherwise it is a comprehensive essay.


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