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What do you want most in a friend -toefl feedback


MrTom 6 / 13  
Aug 5, 2010   #1
Hello! As an international student I need some feedback on my essay.Thank you a lot.

The topic:
What do you want most in a friend - someone who is intelligent, or someone who has a sense of humor, or someone who is reliable? Which one of these characteristics is most important to you? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your choice.

Here is my essay:

I think a sense of humor is the most important feature of a friend. Through our life we are less likely to smile than to put up a deadpan everyday.It is hard to feel happy since life has so much hardship and miseries.Friends who have a sense of humous are easy to get on well with.So it won't be hard to build a close and cheeful friendship with them.Humorous person also helps form a realax environment.Enmagine after a day's hard work, hanging out with a friend and hearing those laughing stories,your tense nerve would soon realse and life will appear brighter and more gorgeous.

As the world is changing ,the pace of everyone's life has speed up like a rokect.Life is tough.We feel lost in these "concrete forests" and tired of those burdens.But Humorous person can bring good mood to us which will alleviate our burdon ,release our presure and fortify our hope with life and future.For example , we all like watch comics .When we are laughing about those funny jokes ,exaggetated ficial lookings.We forget the unfinished papper,the coming exames ,the unprepared presentations,etc.We are just immerse in the happy mood that all of our tense ,presure are gone.

It is always important but forgotten by most of people to keep a smile on the face.We need a positive attitude toward our life since it only gose once.Instead of being sad and boring everyday ,why not make a joke on the world and make youself feel better? Having a sense of humour can lead to good attitude ,effective working and success.So I think a humourous friend is the best friend I would ever want.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,335 129  
Aug 6, 2010   #2
much and many
When you say many, you need to be talking about things that can be counted, like coins.
When you say much, you need to be talking about some substance that cannot be counted, like water, dirt, or misery.
So... do this:
...so much hardship and misery.

You have a lot of spelling errors, so use a spell checker! :-)

Friends who have a sense of humor are easy to get on well with. So it won't be hard to build a close and cheerful friendship with them. Humorous person also helps form a relaxing environment. Imagine, after a day's hard work, hanging out with a friend and ...

But a humorous person can bring a good mood to us which will alleviate our burden, release our pressure and...

So I think a humorous friend is the best kind of friend -- certainly the kind of friend I want.
OP MrTom 6 / 13  
Aug 7, 2010   #3
Tanks for your advices,they are very helpful :)


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