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A friend keeping an eye on flat during vacation


sfiza 17 / 28  
Apr 17, 2018   #1
Your friend is coming over to stay with you. However, you will be away on vacation for a month. Write him/her a letter and say:

how to get the keys to your flat
how to operate the equipment in the flat, and
suggest a few places of interest to visit
You should write at least 150 words.


my exam date 12 May, pls correct my letter. my taget is 7 band

One month vacation



My Apurbo,

I hope you well. As I have informed you regarding my one month vacation when you will stay at my place. I am sorry for being unable to attend you on those days for that. Anyway, you need to collect my flat keys from Mahbub who lives at flat 203. Actually he has informed about your visit.

However, during staying, you might face little difficulties. Firstly, sometimes the water geezer turns off automatically, so you might have to check it before using. Another is that the gas heater is out of order, but you can use another oil heater. The other equipment are quite good in condition to run.

If you get spare time, you might visit the Aquarium as well as the new Market. In fact, these places are not far from where I live. Expecting my arrangement provides you with facilities you need. By the way,it would be glad if you let me know how I assist more.

With love,
sfiza
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,767 4773  
Apr 18, 2018   #2
@sfiza you have a confusing method of presenting information in this letter. For example, the following statement:

Actually he has informed about your visit.

indicates that your neighbor told you about the coming visit of his friend. What you want to say is that you informed your neighbor about your friend's visit so the first person pronoun I should be in use here as in "I informed him about your visit".

As I have informed you regarding my one month vacation when you will stay at my place.

- There is no sense or meaning to this sentence. You informed your friend that the said friend will stay in your place and? There is no subject nor verb to this sentence. It doesn't tell the reader anything. But it does confuse the reader very well.

What exactly is a water geezer? You meant to say faucet right? A faucet is what the sinks at home use for water delivery. A geezer is a queer, odd, or eccentric person. What you are describing is a thing that does not qualify as any of these based on the definition of the word.

You failed to provide instructions to your friend as to how to visit these places of interest that you mentioned. That was required in the prompt as part of the places of interest to visit. Your friend is a tourist and therefore, does not have any idea as to how to get around your place of residence.

Overall, this is terrible work and will not pass the essay writing criteria on any basis.
OP sfiza 17 / 28  
Apr 18, 2018   #3
Dear Holt
thanks a lot for your time. your every word means a lot to me.


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