This is a paragraph writing homework of my english writing class not an essay.
I'm a student of South Korea and have some friends but none of them use English so I need your help to fix this paragraph!
I need your help in grammar, spelling, paragraph structure, abuse of same words and so on.
You can give me another good expressions for wrong ones.
Topic of the writing is 'Someone' has taught me more about the importance of happiness then anyone else in my life.
My friend Park has taught me mostly about the importance of happiness. He is about 180cms tall,
has wavy hair and enjoys listening to Japan rock music, in other words, he is a very common person we
can easily find nearby. The one thing he is different from other people is that he wants to find his
own happiness and always challange to grab it. Park is preparing for this year's university entrance
test. This is his third trial of the test and this time, he wishes to enter Chung ang university which is
famous for its department of act. First time he had the test, he failed. I was very concerned for his
failure, and the next time, it worsen. Sometimes I asked him isn't it difficult to prepare for just one
test again and again but whenever I asked him, he answered never. He was full of faith and it was
nature since this hardship was just for his happiness, not others'. Someone might say that he's just
a fool guy who doesn't know satisfation but I learned from him how the conviction for one's happiness
moves a man. Many people think that happiness is a condition which is well comfort, protected and
not distressed. However, Park has proven me that happiness is not merely a feeling of comfortable
but a power prompts our life to move.
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Thank you for reading long writing.
I'm waiting your answer :D
this is what i got from your essay.
Park, a unique friend of mine who doesn't give up and a different person who always searches for happiness and keeps fighting for it, has always made me see happiness.
Park is a passionate person; he wishes to enter Chung ang University, which is famous for its department of theatre. I always see faith and strength in his eyes; in spite of failing twice in his entrance test, he never stopped and kept working hard; He never says never. Park has proven that happiness is not only a feeling of comfort but also a motive power that moves our lives.
i think you should bring more details to your essay. try to divide your essay and write introduction, body and conclusion.
GOOD LUCK! ;^D
