Please give me some advices for this essay!
Question: Many students have to live with roommates while going to university. What are some of the important qualities of a good roommate? Use specific reasons and examples to explain why these qualities are important?
For me, studying at the university means that I have to live on my own with someone I did not know before. Finding a good roommate who are suitable, who can share emotion is not an easy task for me. As many students, I also have some characteristics some qualities that I hope my roommate will have. The most important quality of a good roommate for me is friendly, because I will spend most of my free time after school work with them. The second one that I am looking for is a person who good at cooking.
After the class, almost time I will stay at home, do my homework and relax. That will be great if I live with a person who are friendly so we can share our habit, play game together after final exam. I remember, when I was a freshman, I lived with two guys at university dormitory according the order of my university. But unfortunately, one of them was not friendly very much. Everyday, after class, he only sit beside his laptop, played game, read something that I did not know. He even did not care what happen around him, whom he lived with, and so on. Once time, when we organize a party for his birthday at restaurant, he didn't come. It's difficult for us to understand him. One year later, I moved to an apartment and lived with one of my classmate. He was so friendly, work hard and smart. After class, when both of us have free time, we went to recreation center together, played soccer with our team, we have a lot of fun when play together. That was a wonderful time for me, after university we also keep contact as a close friend.
The second characteristic of a good rommmate that I want to mention, for me, is good at cooking. In fact, I don't know how to cook, when I lived with my family, my mother cooked for me. Unfortunately, I also have some problems with my stomach. I can not eat out too much especially with fast food. Another reason is eating outside is quite expensive for me. One meal when I eat out can be cost 10 dolars, but with 10 dolars I can buy things enough for two or three people for one day if we cook for ourselves. Instead of cooking, I will do something else for him such as leaning, washing dishes, shopping...I want to live with a roommat who is good at cooking so I can reduce times which I have to eat out and also save money for us too.
There are many other qualities of a good roomate such as honesty, cleaness, hard-working and so on. But for me, living with a person who is friendly, and good at cooking is enough. We can share something fun when we live together, and I don't have to worry about my health to much!
too much informal forms were used, therefore i recommend you should check for academic words regularly. Dont be worried, i was in your situation, thats normal
in the first body paragraph, you seem to tell a story rather than reinforce your point (i know that u want to make use of this story as an example, but remember to shorten it and use some sentences to illustrate your ideas first)
dont use abbreviation in writing. dont => do not... (for instance)
Try next time :) wish you the best