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IELTS Task2 - Friends through social networks and internet. Discuss both views and give your opinion

smahajan74 1 / -  
Jul 9, 2019   #1

internet based friendships

Nowadays people make new friends through social networks and internet chat groups. Some people think this is good. Others think that face-to-face interaction is essential. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the era of the internet, people spend more time on social media than in physical world and therefore connect and make new acquaintances whom they meet online. While it seems a novel way to make large number of friends, there is another view that it is not good due to lack of in person interaction and therefore those relationships may not be genuine. I strongly agree with the second view because it is important to know people than to just rely on their online profile.

Those who argue in favor of online relationship feel the social media provides everyone a convenient medium to make friends with people living in any corner of the world, of any age group, of any gender, that is otherwise very difficult to achieve in real world. Even those who are introverts can be socially active via the virtual medium and can remain hidden behind the screen while interacting with their chat or online friends.

However, those who do not favor the online friendships are concerned that such online profiles can include a good number of fake profiles and therefore fear the risk of being cheated or getting into trouble. They also feel that by having friends only in the virtual world reduces the ability to make friends in real and such netizens, in general, lack the practical skills of dealing with real world social interactions. They feel that such "friends" are just connections and they would not be of any help should there be a need or adversity, when genuine friends are most required.

In my opinion, it is fine to have online friends, but the friends that one makes in the real world and the friends one can rely in the time of need are the real friends. No matter how many people one meets online, the genuine friendships happen only when you meet them in person or spend time with them.

In conclusion, some people find internet based friendships a positive phenomenon as it facilitates ease of connecting with people at the click of a mouse. However, others feel that one should strive to have friends that one can have face-to-face interactions with, as it is genuine and I fully support that view.
Tranvantuan - / 2 2  
Jul 10, 2019   #2
Hello, I'll try my best to help you.

The essay is quite clear, though there are mistakes about arranging the ideas. For instance, your introduction seems quite difficult for people to follow so you should try to rewrite it in the more appropriate way.

You should combine par2 and par3 to just only one section and also you can shorten some phases such as "to make friends with people ... gender" can change to "from every walks of live" or "regardless of location, cultural backgrounds and ages" so it can help to avoid repetitions in centence structures.

Good luck!
Krystal318 9 / 20 2  
Jul 10, 2019   #3
Your essay has good idea but it seems you are overly telling and explaning your idea. Your structure is quite the same in some sentences.

"Those you argue in favor..." and "Those who do not favor..."
Your last sentence in the last paragraph is quite hard to understand.
"... strive to build up friendships in the real world and keep face-to-face interactions ..."
tinapakshad1 3 / 5 2  
Jul 10, 2019   #4
this is a good essay with large number of complex words but there are few things that you should be careful about. for instance in paragraph 3 first sentence doesn't have clear subject and verb(" can include a good number of ...").
huyhihung10A 3 / 5  
Jul 10, 2019   #5
Hi, I am a little it skeptical about some sentences like: "those who do not favor ... are concerned" and ''by having friends only in ..."

I think eradicating the words " are" and "by" will be more proper

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