Frog & Mouse - I wrote a story and I need to be checked

the story about a frog and a mouse

There was a frog who used to live in a beautiful pond. He was proud of his graceful movements and he loved jumping on the leaves, which were floating on the water. The frog was always being watched by a mouse who enjoyed observing his high jumps.

The mouse wanted to become the frog's friend. Therefore, he waited for him to hop out of his pond to talk about it. As soon as the frog jumped out of the pond, the mouse asked him to be friends and he liked the idea and agreed right away. The mouse offered his support to the frog and expressed his willingness to do anything for him.

The mouse asked the frog if he would like to eat wheat. "Yes, that would be great" the frog replayed. "I know a place which is full of wheat, let's go" the mouse said. They entered into a hole which led them to a big place where there are huge amounts of wheat. The frog liked the taste of wheat and he kept eating until he felt that his stomach would explode.

The frog said "we will be friends forever if you fed me everyday". The mouse gladly agreed and they decided to tie their legs with a string as a symbol of friendship.

While they were playing, a squirrel saw them. As he approached them, he was surprised at their reckless action, how a frog and a mouse would always stay together with this string tied around their feet! The squirrel tried to explain to them that they have different natures and what they have done would put their lives in danger but they didn't listen to him.

They went to the pond and the frog asked the mouse to dive into water but the mouse told him that he had never been in water before. The frog encouraged him to give it a try, just as he did with eating the wheat.

The mouse was terrified of water, but the frog assured him that he will help him to become a good diver. As an attempt to teach the mouse, the frog dived deep into the pond, and didn't notice that he was dragging the hapless mouse behind him. the mouse tried to free himself but couldn't, and soon drowned.

When the squirrel arrived at the pond, he saw the mouse floating on its surface. He told the frog about the mistake he had made with his friend. The frog felt guilty because he did not respect his friend's nature.

Salsabeel, if this is only for English language writing practice, then I would say that you did a good job. The story was engaging and informative. It was almost like reading a fable except that the lesson at the end was not as clear as it should be due to lack of creative explanation coming from the squirrel and regret from the mouse.

The story could use more of a creative flair in its presentation. As a reader, I would be better engaged in the narrative if you had transported me to the setting the story was taking place in. If I become part of the story as an observer, almost at the status of the squirrel, then I would be more emotionally involved in the story. Case in point, when you were depicting the death of the mouse, I wasn't really involved in it. I did not feel like I had to care that the mouse was being drowned at that point. Maybe because the relationship between the mouse and the frog felt rushed and without a strong foundation.

Anyway, those are just my observations. I hope you can apply some of it to your revision if you are still in the draft writing process.