Please help me correct this essay :)Question: Some people say that all young people should have full-time education until they are 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Today, many people may hold the belief that all the young who are under 18 should devote themselves entirely to education rather than doing anything else. From my own perspectives, I would strongly agree with that view for some reasons.
To begin with, background education is truly fundamental and should always be respected by student's attention and effort. Some people commonly take highschool study for granted then don't usually learn very well. Consequently, when entering the labour market in reality, they lack the general understanding and as a result it is hard for them to create much value for their boss or even more seriously if they ruin the work they are likely to get dismissed sooner or later.
Secondly, people under 18 are also commonly too naïve to stand on their on feet to earn for a living or support others. They are being on the way of becoming adults so there are still a wide range of things about lives they need to know about. It is understandable that they are probable to get into troubles and then don't know how to get out of these mess. For example, young people can easily be abused and exploited if they know little or nothing about the labour laws. They may have to suffer by themselves and this might lead to several consequences of young people being suffered from pressure or even mental symptoms.
However, combining with full-time study, young people should also concurrently participate in after-class activities like doing social charity to obtain more soft skills which are helpful to shape their personality. Applying for a part-time job can also be viewed as a good way to build up themselves as long as young people concentrate much on the experience instead of money aspect.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that general education is of importance when concerning people who are under 18 and it should widely be favoured by governments and organizations from now.