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IELTS Task 2: every funds for education are needed - also those in the form of tax


vietduccan 10 / 19 7  
Jan 1, 2019   #1
Here is my latest essay, Please be free to leave your comments. Thanks in advance
Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?


Sending kids to private schools to exempt from tax?



There is a common belief that those parents who have children engaged in private education should not be obligated to pay taxes which support the public education system. In my opinion, I totally disagree with this view.

It would be completely wrong if we reduce taxes for families who choose non-public education. Firstly, any citizen has an obligation to pay taxes whether they intentionally use the public services or not. For instance, many people might live their whole life without calling police or fire brigade at any time. However, they would not expect a tax reduction for that. Secondly, it would be truly complicated and difficult to calculate the correct amount of tax reduction for those parents who send their children to private schools. Since the government budget is not used for merely funding education but other critical affairs, therefore, it would be somewhat problematic if we offer tax deduction for these parents.

From my perspective, it would be much reasonable if citizens are all responsible for paying taxes that support public education system. Thanks for the sufficient amount of tax collected, the quality of the education would be ensured in long run, which in turn benefit the whole society. In other words, there would be many educated people, who could either be outstanding entrepreneurs or excellent workers. Furthermore, when every family has the obligation to pay taxes, it would be a great way to promote the fairness among society. In other words, there would be no situation where the poor pay higher taxes than the rich.

To conclude, because of the reasons above, I do not agree that families who send their children to private schools should not have the obligation to pay taxes that support the state educational system.
StevenSameh1512 8 / 21  
Jan 2, 2019   #2
This is a good essay and well-organized one. You deliverd your message clearly and with good range of vocabulary. I noticed some grammatical mistakes in this essay which are:

"..., it would be much reasonable if ..." you can change the word much to very as it is very confusing in the context.

"... where the poor pay higher ..." the verb pay must be pays as the poor is singular/

Over all, this is good one you may get between 6.5-7.5, in my perspective.


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