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In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computer


unibuti 1 / -  
Mar 12, 2016   #1
In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television, or of studying at traditional school. Which would you prefer? Write a composition of about 200 words to support your opinion.

In the future, students may have the choice of studying at home by using technology such as computers or television, or of studying at traditional school. To my way of thinking, I'd prefer the latter because of the following reasons. First of all, students can come out of their shells when they study at school. Because they will have to socialize, co-operate with other students. This will help them become more independent and responsible, and they will understand thoroughly the importance of union and friendship. Moreover, they will have others to count on when they meet with difficulies,which is something they can not do if they study alone. Secondly, students will have the motives to try harder. Learning with others means competing. Students will have their ambitions, their goals and will try to achieve them, if they study alone, it is likely that they will not try as hard as they can. Last but not least, studying at school brings about good results. Because of teachers and school rules, students will study in the serious and strict manner. In contrast, when they study alone, they can easily be distracted. Computers and televisions are still regarded as means of entertainment. It's possble that instead of learning, students will watch movies or play games. In conclusion, it's better that we keep the tradition, let students study at school.
adrian21 15 / 17 3  
Mar 13, 2016   #2
Hello Unibuti
Let me give my opinion about your writings

In the future, students may have the choice of studying ...

You wrote exactly the same as the given question. You have to paraphrase it if you want to make higher score. How about this one?

In the following next years, students can choose their study methods either at home by making use of technology advancements or at ordinary school.

Thank you
Hope this useful for you
EF_Carol - / 145 39  
Mar 15, 2016   #3
Good start! You need to expand your answer and to organize it into at least three paragraphs! You need an intro, first.

to my way of thinking...

This would end your intro as you propose your thesis statement.

Next you need an explanatory body paragraph.

first of all...

This should start the explanation body paragraph. Then you will continue with the rest of your explanation about traditional school being better!

Lastly is the conclusion.

computers and televion...

This could begin the last paragraph, and wrap it up!

I think if you make these changes it will improve your essay! Start with an intro to begin the expression of your opinion, just as a thesis statement. Then a second paragraph to explain your opinion. Finally you need a conclusion to wrap it up and restate your opinion.

Good luck!

ef _carol


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