concentration and collaboration
I entirely agree with this statement: playing games, teach us about life. When you play games in conjunction with you have funny and enjoyable time. You must learn a lot of skills that are very beneficial and functional for your being successful in your life.
such as: Trying, concentration and collaboration.
First of all, if you want to be successful in your game or real life. You have to try a lot to find the best way for reaching to your goals and also, using whole of energy to achieve to your aim.
Next, concentration is another skill that is important. for being winner in your game or in your life, you could concentrate in your aim to consider all the way that reach you to your goal and after that chose the best way. Also concentrate in the game help you to have powerful mind in your life that is very necessary in life.
And finally, collaboration is very important in both life and game. Because with collaboration in game you could cover the flaw of your teammate like in life. And with helping and counsel with your member of your team or member of you family in real life you can find the best way in reaching to your goal.
To sum up, with playing game you learn a lot of skills like: Trying, concentration and collaboration that are so important in real life.
Welcome to the forum! Don't hesitate to ask if you have any other questions after reading my feedback.
Packaging is extremely important in writing - bear this in mind. For instance, while there wasn't anything that was glaringly wrong with the first paragraph (except for a few technical slip-ups in the first sentence), the poor packaging made it a bit difficult to comprehend and appreciate certain parts of the writing. What you could have done was simply mention the line "playing games teaches us about life" before reiterating that there are lessons to be learned with playing games that aren't just limited to the virtual world.
The same goes for the rest of your writing. Make a more comprehensive and straightforward simple sentence instead of how you labeled the first body paragraph. If you're focusing on a specific trait, describe it first prior to explaining how it correlates with gaming.
Being more discreet and conservative with writing will be beneficial for you since you struggle with complex utterances.