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the gap between poor people and rich people - ielts writing


manda 1 / 1  
Dec 30, 2009   #1
Some people believe the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between poor people and rich people. Others think it is having an opposite effect.

help me to check thx
The health problem has been considered by most people nowadays. Some people complain that there is a few of sports facilities in the residential area are available. They have no place to spend time for doing exercises. Others disagree about this, they said: The high health level is results of people have a high willing to do exercises.

The number of sports facilities should be increased, especially in the residential, offering a convenient facilitation for people; they would prefer to spend time for sweating.

It sounds a good idea to increase the number of sports facilities, but for many big cities which always have low health level; these cities have the similar situation. Limit spaces and large amount of population .spaces are valuable for a busy city; the quota for sport is limited. On the other hand, people may don't have the ideas of sporting. "students are lazier than before."PE teacher said "they don't spend much time on exercises. So do the adults. They prefer to stay before screen than playground. The increase of sports facilities is not enough .the improve of people's willing of doing sports is more important. In my opinion more to give publicity of the benefit of doing exercises .and encourage them to do exercises.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13,334 129  
Dec 31, 2009   #2
Health problems represent an issue that has been considered by most people nowadays. Some people complain that there an insufficient number of is a few of sports facilities are available in the residential area. They have no place to spend time for doing exercises. Others disagree about this, saying, "The high health level is results of people have a high willing to do exercises." (now add a sentence where you give your opinion)

The number of sports facilities should be increased, especially in the residential areas, offering a convenient opportunity for people; they would prefer to spend time for sweating ???.

Limited space and large amount of population are ____________ in a busy city; the quota for ...

The increase of sports facilities is not enough. The improvement of people's willingness to participate in sports is more important. In my opinion, it is more important to give the public encouragement than to build more facilities for exercise. the benefit of doing exercises .and encourage them to do exercises. Keep practicing! You have many mistakes. However, your English sure is better than my Spanish!!!
OP manda 1 / 1  
Jan 3, 2010   #3
thank you ~~~~
Seong 3 / 3  
Jan 6, 2010   #4
gab = > difference because gab is informal word
Do not use too much " mark because it can be a mess and make your essay confusing.


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