Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback   % width Posts: 6


IELTS: Gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions


trantrunghieu 2 / 3 1  
Aug 10, 2014   #1
The bar chart illustrates the gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions from nursery school to university in UK in 2010. It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage of teachers were female.

It is clear from the chart that male teachers held a large share of teaching posts in higher-level institutions whereas female teachers predominated in schools for children. In the institutions for older children and young adults, this rates were more equal.

In nursery and primary school, the proportion of women teachers was over 90 per cent, the figures for man teachers in this two educational settings were very low, just under 10 per cent. In university, there were twice as many male teachers as female teachers.

The number of males and females were the same in college, 50 per cent. There were gender gaps in secondary school and private training institute but they were slightly small, fluctuated around 5 per cent for both of mentioned institutions.


  • Subject
tiaDS 73 / 235 52  
Aug 10, 2014   #2
The bar chart illustrates the gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions from nursery school to university in UK in 2010. It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage of teachers were female.

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of teachers of both genders in six types of educational institutions in the United Kingdom in 2010 and it is measured in percentage.

this rates

this two educational settings

these

You have used appropriate pattern for writing task 1 in my view.
digitalidea 10 / 11 8  
Aug 10, 2014   #3
whereas female teachers predominated in schools for children. In the institutions for older children and young adults, this rates were more equal.

whereas female teachers predominated in schools for children and teenagers. But n the private institute and university, male teachers occupied the majority of all teachers.
OP trantrunghieu 2 / 3 1  
Aug 10, 2014   #4
Thanks all of you guys. This is my first essay so maybe there are some grammar mistakes.
dumi 1 / 6,925 1592  
Aug 23, 2014   #5
It shows what percentage of teachers were male and what percentage of teachers were female.

This is not contributing any value addition to your response. This task is aimed at assessing your report writing capabilities. So, keep your writing very concise and clear. Introduce the graphical presentation very briefly and do not elaborate on that;

The bar chart illustrates the gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions from nursery school to university in UK in 2010.

.... this is more than enough for the intro :)
Overall, the male teachers held a large share of teaching posts in higher-level institutions whereas female teachers predominated in schools for children. In the institutions for older children and young adults, this rates were more equal.

Well, following the introduction, you need to write an Overview which explains the main trends of your chart. What you've written here is fine, but adopt a more formal reporting tone :)
eddies [Contributor] 25 / 1,208 476  
Sep 7, 2014   #6
Please allow me to give a try for the introduction and overview:

The bar chart illustrates the proportion of man and woman teachers in several educational institutions from nursery school to university in UK in 2010.

Overall, male became dominant teachers in private training institute and university, while female teachers broke a record of teaching between nursery and secondary school. In any case, both genders in these groups are expressed as a fair percentage of teaching in college.


Home / Writing Feedback / IELTS: Gender distribution of teachers in different educational institutions
Writing
Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳