IELTS - The gender issue for getting education needs

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.
To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The gender issues have been already discussing for many years in order to give solutions for realising the equal proportion of developing human resources. Implementing the statue and right of equal education are believed as a sustainable policy that should be held. Nowadays, there are many institutions that accept the same average number of male and female students in many kinds of course. I strongly agree about this statement.

The proportion of women is rising year by year in many parts of the world recently. Automatically, the issue stimulates the stakeholders from many places to think what kind of preparations they should take for stabilising the economic growth and the quality life of people. We can see now that women tend to work in various fields which in the past normally done by men such as being engineers, and dealing with machines. Those activities have proven that women can also do the men's works. Therefore, female students are indicated having the same potential and capability as men.

Another reason is order to gaining higher education degree as it is required to establish a person's career. These days, it is so hard for young people to get a proper job when they have not degree certificate from Universities. So, learning from human's history, education provides someone to widen his or her knowledge and experience for facing the real situation of workplace through subject taught in college. According to this opinion, giving equal education for both men and women is a must.

In conclusion, the needs for having developed-skills and gaining degree certificate in order to build someone's career are totally needed to implement and applied for any gender. As the world's situation is always changing, act for distributing education needs are absolutely important to compete the future challenges.

The gender issues have been already discussing

you should say The gender issues have been already discussed....

wrong grammar :(
Issues relating to gender discrimination have already been in discussion over the past years. ... this is your hook.


You do not clearly explain the background of your issue to the reader. This is not exactly what your prompt has suggested. It is;
This debate extends to university admission criterion too. Some people argue that the universities should maintain a fare balance of their student intake by accepting admission of male and female in equal numbers.

please, you need to put space between paragraphs to show their differences

The gender issues have been already discussingin discussion for many years in order to give solutions for realisinghavethe equalproportion of developing human resources. both males and females enjoying equal rights.

You need to pay lots of attention to your grammar and clarity of your ideas. In the intro, have the following approach for it;
1. Have a hook - an interesting sentence to open your essay. It should be meaningful, catchy and relevant to your topic.
2. Background of the issue - Paraphrase your prompt and introduce the issue to the reader
3. State your opinion in a clear sentence.

space between paragraph