Please rate my essay and give advice, Thank you very much
Men and women professions
Topic:
Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
Nowadays, due to some special benefits and limitations, it is argued that gender is an important element to discriminate types of professions. However, I personally assume that gender equality should be encouraged in every profession.
To begin with, it can be said that both males and females have separate characteristics, which enable them to perform well in certain tasks. For women, they are considered exceptionally good at dealing with household chores, baby sitting and so on. The reason for this phenomenon is because kindness and gentleness are naturally gifted for women. Similarly, men also have special traits attached with their personality, they are deemed to be strong, confident and decisive. As a consequence, certain jobs requiring a great deal of physical and mental strength such as earning bread and butter for the home and making decision for the family are usually for men.
On the other hand, based on the fact that the world has changed, I personally believe that both men and women could occupy the same types of work. Nowadays, with the spread of education and equal rights, more and more women are breaking barriers of their homes in order to work outside and undertake several important positions which were once considered to be men's. Genuinely, several female politicians in the world such as Hilary Clinton or Angela Merkel are practical evidence for this tendency. In the same way, husbands and sons are also indulging themselves in household tasks by looking after their children as well as doing household chores, which is a great way to put themselves in their wives and mothers' shoes and somehow understand the difficulties of doing house works.
In conclusion, I understand there are particular characteristics that support both genders with the abilities to do separate tasks. However, by looking at the current norms, it will be wrong to think that they cannot do each other's work.Holt Educational Consultant - / 14,835 
4783 Your understanding of the prompt topic and discussion instruction is incorrect. This created an automatic failing score for this essay. Compare the following to see exactly how you did that:
O.Q.: Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender?
Y.R. : I personally assume that gender equality should be encouraged in every profession.
C. R.: I believe that men and women should be not limited in terms of work participation based on their sex. My opinion is based on (reason 1 ) and ( reason 2 ).
This is a singular opinion discussion that requires 2 reasons and explanations in 2 paragraphs. The comparative style of discussion is not used based on the question response reference. These 2 mistakes in presentation, plus the other possible deductions based on the scoring criteria, I do notbelieve this essay will melita passing score. The main problems you have relate to English comprehension skills and proper topic response development.
